We had so much great feedback on our first roundup of Halloween Freebies and Fun,  we wanted to do it again.

Halloween Savings

Get 31 Days of Halloween Freebies from about.com. Then check out Halloween Coupons and Freebies from Susies-Coupons.

Halloween Crafts

Make a Silhouette Pumpkin
I love this vintage, chic idea – from oh-lovely-day.com

Or try this: How to Decoupage Halloween Pumpkins, from MakeandTakes.com

We also love these ric rac and lace spiders from the crafting chicks.

DIY Printables and Craft Projects from Target:
Iron on Trick or Treat Bag
Eerie Decorative Lighting

In honor of The Muppets, which opens in theaters everywhere November 23rd, here’s a PDF of  Fozzie’s Favorite Halloween Jokes.

Last-Minute Halloween Costume Ideas

From the pages of Real Simple Magazine
10 Last-Minute Costume Ideas
Never got around to buying that Morticia Addams ensemble? Harness the Halloween spirit with a kooky (but not creepy) look that you can pull together in a snap, snap.

Easy DIY Costumes
Have some more time to play with but still want to save money? Use items you have around the house to make one of these costumes, and your child will be the shining star of the Halloween parade.

Guest post by Tawra Kellam, http://www.LivingOnADime.com

The average American family spends over $100 per year on Halloween goodies. As your kids drag you through aisles full of ghosts and goblins, the scariest thing about Halloween is threatening to leave bite marks in your pocketbook. No wonder so many moms flee screaming from the store… It can be much less expensive and a lot more fun to devise your own chilling creations. Here are a few tips that you can use to stave off the greenback gremlins and exercise your creative muscle. It won’t hurt a bit! These and other free frugal tips are available at www.LivingOnADime.com.

Face Paint
1 tsp. corn starch
1/2 tsp. water
1/2 tsp. cold cream
food coloring

Mix all ingredients together in an old muffin pan and you are ready to paint. This amount makes one color.

Fake Wound
1 Tbsp Vaseline
tissue
cocoa powder
2-3 drops red food coloring

Place Vaseline in a bowl. Add food coloring. Blend with a toothpick. Stir in a pinch of cocoa to make a darker blood color. Separate tissue. Using 1 layer, tear a 2×3 inch piece and place at wound site. Cover with petroleum jelly and mold into the shape of a wound. The center should be lower than the sides. Fill the center with the red petroleum jelly mixture. Sprinkle center with some cocoa. Sprinkle a little around the edges of the wound to make darker.

Fake Blood- Mix 2/3 cup white corn syrup, 1 tsp. red food coloring, 2-3 drops blue food coloring to darken and 1 squirt dish soap (helps blood to run well).

Abrasions -Dab brown, red and black eye shadow on area. Apply blood over area with cotton balls. Use comb to gently scratch area in one direction. Apply cocoa or dirt over wound with cotton balls.

Black Eye – Apply red and blue eye shadow to depressions around eyes.

Bruises – Rub red and blue shadow over bony area to simulate recent bruises. Blue and yellow eye shadow to create older bruises.

Look Old – Cover face with baby powder. Draw dark lines on your skin for wrinkles. Smooth edges to blend. Cover again with baby powder. Add baby powder to your hair to create gray hair.

Deviled Eyeballs – Make deviled eggs. Add a green olive with pimento in the center for an “eyeball”.

Radioactive Juice- Mix equal parts Mountain Dew and blue Kool-Aid

Toxic Juice- Add some green food coloring to lemonade for a spooky color!

Brains- Scramble eggs with some green, yellow and blue food coloring

Bloody Eyeballs- Boil cherry tomatoes 30 seconds. Allow to cool; then peel skin.

Goblin Hand- Freeze green Kool-Aid in a rubber or latex glove, float in punch.

Use the tape from old cassettes or black yarn to make spider webs.

Use cotton balls stretched out for small spider webs.

Glass Jack-o-Lantern- Outline a pumpkin face on a spaghetti or pickle jar with black paint. The paint around the outside of it with orange paint. Place a candle inside for a jack-o-lantern.

Now here are some fun Halloween Party Games

Halloween Guess It Game

In this game, you challenge the participants to reach into mystery boxes filled with creepy things and try to guess what each item is. The person with the most correct answers wins the game. An example is if you want them to guess “grapes”, you might try to confuse them by saying, “I think it’s eyeballs…”

Cut a hole in the top of a shoe box or laundry box for each item to be used. Cover the box with black spray paint. Decorate each box with pumpkins or spiders for a more festive flavor. Place the following items inside, one per box. Be sure to place enough of each item so the guests can adequately “feel” the guts.

Eyeballs – grapes or peeled cherry tomatoes

Intestines- Cooked Spaghetti

Skin- oil a piece of plastic bag

Brains- scrambled eggs

Hair- an old clown wig

Bones- thoroughly washed chicken bones placed in some sand

Vomit-chunky salsa

Fingers-hot dogs cut into finger sized pieces

Teeth- corn nuts, pine nuts or popcorn

Have a Pumpkin Hunt

Hide mini pumpkins like you would Easter Eggs. Let the kids find and decorate them. For small children use glue sticks with construction paper cut-outs for decorations.

Edible Slime

Pour lime gelatin into a glass bowl. After it is partially set, add gummy worms. Chill until lightly set. Then serve slopped all over the plate.

Bloody Popcorn- Add red food color to melted butter and pour over popcorn.

Freeze gummy worms in ice cubes and add them to drinks. Cut gummy worms in half if needed.

About the authors:
Jill Cooper and Tawra Kellam are frugal living experts and the authors of the Dining On A Dime Cookbook. Dining On A Dime will help you save money on groceries and get out of debt, by cooking quick and simple homemade meals. For free tips & recipes visit http://www.LivingOnADime.com

Halloween is a blast. With each age and stage the kids go through, Halloween changes – but it never gets less fun. Here’s a roundup of a few Halloween Freebies and Fun to add more ghoulish delight to your family’s celebration…

15 Hauntingly Healthy Halloween Snacks
It’s always a challenge to find treats for the kids’ classroom Halloween parties that are festive but not full of sugar. Family Fun has some creative, and healthy Halloween snacks. We love these apple “bites,” as well as the other healthy ideas they’ve come up with.

Free, Spooky Halloween Music
Back by popular demand and refreshed to include new tracks and themes, Pandora’s Halloween stations offer a fun approach to getting in the spooky spirit this Halloween. The eight new stations deliver a wide range of music to enjoy throughout the holiday – - everything from a mix of upbeat Halloween-inspired hits to a melodic collection of spooky instrumental compilations to a variety of kid-friendly classics – and are accessible via http://www.pandora.com/#!/genres/halloween.

“You’ve Been Boo’ed” Sign and Instructions
We’ve been boo-ing our neighbors for years. Each October, we buy a bucketful of treats for a couple of families, then the kids deliver them anonymously. This involves leaving the treats on the recipient’s doorstep, knocking on the door, and trying not to fall as you dash madly away and into hiding. Squeals of glee are virtually guaranteed. In fact, this is my kids’ favorite Halloween tradition after Trick or Treating. There are a number of Boo printables for this purpose on the Internet, but none as lovely as this one I found for free download here, from TomKat Studio.

The weirdest (and most adorable) Halloween Costumes for Kids
A photo slideshow. Behold the weirdness, and add your own!

Halloween Drinks – Halloween Punch Recipes
Need to brew up something spooky for guests this Halloween? Here are four fun and festive Halloween punch recipes – 2 for kids, 2 for adults

Free Pumpkin Carving Templates
Choose from four cool and creative pumpkin carving patterns from PumpkinMasters.com. Just download and print.

More Free Pumpkin Craving Stencils
30 more printable stencils to choose from, categorized into Easy, Intermediate, and Advanced designs. Courtesy of Hersheys.com

Printable Halloween Masks and Decorations
A great collection of printable masks, decorations, iron-ons and more.

Halloween Treats for the Adults- Vanilla Cinnamon Apples
Halloween brings plenty of tempting treats for kids, but what about the adults?This Vanilla Cinnamon Apples recipe, courtesy of Nielsen Massey Vanilla, adds an element of sophistication to this year’s festivities and are sure to have guests lining up for seconds.

Pumpkin Patch Finder
This site can help you find a pumpkin patch, corn maze, hayrides, trick or treat streets and other Halloween fun near you!

Lots more Halloween Articles on Momscape >

By Erik Fisher, PhD, aka Dr. E…, www.DrEPresents.com

Our kids bring us so much joy. Sometimes it is hard to believe that we can love someone that much. However, just as can happen with a marriage, the same can happen with our kids. We can begin to take them for granted. It is so easy to get wrapped up in life and become distracted by work, and other life stressors. It is important to remember that our kids need to feel loved and need to know that they are loved. My goal with my daughter when she was born was one million kisses before she turns five, and I make a point to tell her I love her at least once per day—and it feels so good to hear her say in her 3 year-old voice, “Daddy, I lub you so much.” Do I keep count of the hugs? No, but I do know I am well on the way.

In working with kids, adults and parents, there are so many times that I have found that parents don’t tell or show their kids how they feel about them. Some of the reasons that I hear as to why parents don’t “love on” their kids are:

* As their children get older, they don’t think they need the reassurance
* They were never loved on when they were kids
* They don’t feel comfortable loving on their kids when they approach adolescence
* They didn’t realize that their kids felt unloved
* They just aren’t that type of person
* Whenever they try to love on their kids they squirm away or don’t respond in return

Our kids often give us our best opportunities to stretch ourselves. Sometimes we have to push ourselves to get out of old habits and to begin new patterns. What we don’t realize that what we are missing out on when we don’t share love with our kids is how we feel inside. Sometimes parents need to face their uncomfortable feelings and the boundaries that they put in place not just between them and their children, but between them and other people. Sometimes parents can face their fears of rejection from their own kids, that if they don’t love them too much, their kids can’t push them away. Sometimes it is just a matter of learning to love and share in the process with someone else.

Our kids offer us the best opportunity to make an investment in loving them without expecting something in return. When I grew up, I was not someone who felt comfortable saying “I love you.” My mom told us all the time, and my dad showed us through service. It wasn’t until we all went off to college that my dad realized the power of sharing how he felt with words. Keep in mind that even though you know how much you may love your kids, they don’t often understand the things that you do, but they do hear the words that you say and the number of times you hug them and even sit with them with your arm around them.

Take the time to hug your kids and tell them that you love at least five times a day. Even if your kids might squirm or act like you have the plague, keep doing it. Neither of you may be used to it. But I don’t hear many troubled teens or adults who said that they behave like they do because their parents gave them too much love.

About the author: Erik Fisher, PhD, aka Dr. E…, is a licensed psychologist and author of two books whose work has been featured NBC, CBS, FOX and CNN. Visit him at www.DrEPresents.com to learn more about his new show, Off The Couch with Dr. E… .

By Erik Fisher, PhD, AKA Dr E www.DrEPresents.com

Your kids are inundated with images every day, and the degree to which these images are valid representations of the human form will subtly and obviously affect how they view the world and themselves as they grow up. Some of you may feel that banning ads such as those in Britain is absolutely overblown and a violation of rights. While this was seen as a truth in advertising issue, it is a psychological health issue as well. To many kids and adults, they may not think twice about these ads. To others, they may bring up intense feelings of inadequacy and self-hatred. The fact that we accept these images as acceptable is a sign of our numbness to the alternate realities that are created by the media and advertising.

I remember when doing my graduate research that I felt that surely in 20 years, our society would grow beyond this obsession with our bodies and appearance. I was teaching about airbrushing, and the degree of eating disorders in the modeling industry, and I taught about the excessive pursuit of the male stereotype in body builders. I had believed that we would educate our kids and ourselves about how to feel better from the inside out, but instead, the problems have become worse, in some ways, and not only do young women have to look fit and thin, but even older women are still focused on the same pursuit of physical perfection at the cost of their self-esteem. Just look at the rate of plastic surgeries on everything from facelifts to calf implants, and the age range on these procedures is widening.

Jump on the Bandwagon, Guys

Men and boys are not immune to these issues. Their physique is just focused more on muscular aspects. Realize how the images that they see sell a muscular body that is often unachievable through reasonable means. Even men are going under the knife for various plastic procedures, including pectoral implants.

Imagine if we took the time energy and funds we spend on the way we look outside and focused it on improving our inner beauty? Don’t stay numb to these cultural phenomena that are influencing our kids. Let’s get real.

Here are some tips to pay attention to if you feel concerned about your kids and their body image.

1. Be aware of your and your spouse’s body image issues. Do you talk about your body and how you feel about it in front of them?

2. Do you notice your kids talking about how they look and/or are they preoccupied with their appearance or specific body features?

3. Are their friends focused on their body and/or do they make comments about others’ appearance?

4. Are you and/or any of your kids obsessed with dieting and/or exercise?

These are just a few questions to look at these issues in your family. Often parents, without realizing it, feed their children’s issues, no pun intended. Talk to them, and if you don’t feel equipped to do so, get some help to talk about it before it goes too far.

About the author: Erik Fisher, PhD, aka Dr. E…, is a licensed psychologist and author of two books whose work has been featured NBC, CBS, FOX and CNN. Visit him at www.DrEPresents.com to learn more about his new show, Off The Couch with Dr. E… .

Learn more about Dr. E.’s books:

The Art of Empowered Parenting: The Manual You Wish Your Kids Came With
Price: $16.95
The Art of Empowered Parenting provides a unique look at the impact parents have on their children’s behavior by challenging them to first understand themselves. Information and advice blend with practical tips and exercises to both educate and help parents apply new techniques. Dr. Fisher’s well-known perspectives on power and emotion, as well as discussions on temperament, attachment, and their strategic interaction, provide the basis for a new look on empowered parenting that can make raising any child an easier journey.

The Art of Managing Everyday Conflict: Understanding Emotions and Power Struggles
Price: $43.95
We all have power struggles affecting each of us in every stage of our life, nearly every day. We all get wrapped up in conflicts, but often have no idea how to resolve them. This book dicusses the “hows” and “whys” of conflict and provides easy-to-use solutions for most situations. The focus is on the role of emotion. Conflict results from the way in which we view our own power, and our views on power are largely influenced by our emotions. So we must begin by looking closely at our emotions. Fisher and Sharp guide us to pinpoint those and see how emotions move us into playing one of the classic roles in conflict – Victim, Persecutor, Instigator or Rescuer. And we learn how emotions can play productive purposes; how they can be used to minimize and remove serious conflict in our lives. The text includes vignettes, anecdotes, personal inventories, illustrations and concrete exercises. While general readers will find this text of interest, it will also provide valuable information for students of psychology, sociology, business management, human resources and family studies.

Today, we started our regular summer routine in which I insist the kids do some reading and math before they go outside to play. While I’m not a homeschooling mom by any stretch of the imagination, I do try to keep a routine during the summer months that includes at least a bit of writing, a pinch of reading and a dash of math.

To that end, my youngest child’s teachers have shared some great educational games and resources over the past year for my soon-to-be 3rd grader, and I wanted to share them with you, too. Most of these resources aren’t exclusively for second/third graders but have different levels for different ages and grades.

Please feel free to add your own favorite educational games and websites in the comments section:

3rd Grade Math Games

Mathfactcafe.com
Printable math fact tests, organized by grade. Plus generators for math drills, flashcards, time, money, and more. A great resource!

Second and Third Grade Reading & Grammar

Grammar Gorillas

Help with Verbs

Beginning Sentence Building

More Advanced Sentence Building

Related 3rd Grade Game Products

Carson-Dellosa File Folder Games Set, 3rd Grade Math
Set includes preprinted game boards so that you only need to cut and laminate game pieces. Storage is made easy with the re-ealable tote. Each set includes 6 games that meet state, national and provincial standards with grade-level-specific skills. From Office Depot. Office Depot.com coupons are here.

Carson-Dellosa File Folder Games Set, 3rd Grade Language Arts
Set includes preprinted game boards so that you only need to cut and laminate game pieces. Storage is made easy with the re-sealable tote. Each set includes 6 games that meet state, national and provincial standards with grade-level-specific skills. From Office Depot. Office Depot.com coupons are here.

3rd Grade Math Games & Puzzles
From Borders.com

Here’s a new baby food recipe from Fresh Baby’s Cheryl Tallman: Coconut Curry Sauce Cubes

Yellow Curry Powder is often associated with Indian cooking. It’s a blend of spices, which vary by region, food, and cooking style. Most Indian curry powders contain turmeric, coriander and cumin. At the market, choose a curry powder labeled “mild” for this recipe.

This recipe uses coconut milk which can be found in the Asian section of your supermarket. Coconut milk sometimes separates into a thick layer of white coconut and a watery liquid. Shaking the can before opening can recombine it, but if that doesn’t work, pour the contents of the can into a blender and whirl it, or pour it into a bowl and use a whisk to blend it together.

Ingredients:

* 1 (13.5 oz) can Coconut Milk
* ¼ cup Chicken Broth
* ¼ cup Onion, chopped
* 1 Garlic Clove, chopped
* 1 Tbsp. Tomato Paste
* 1-2 Tsp. Curry (mild) Powder
* ¼ tsp. Cinnamon
* 1 Tbsp. Brown Sugar

Place all contents in a blender and process to smooth texture. Pour into a saucepan, bring to a boil, cover and simmer over low heat for 10 minutes. Pour the sauce into an ice cube tray, cover and freeze until ready to use.

Serving: Remove a sauce cube from the freezer, defrost and combine it with pureed or mashed beans, meats rice or vegetables. When first introducing the sauce, try a small amount and work your way up to more. Here are some delicious combinations for awesome coconut curries:

* Lentils, Carrots and Apples
* Sweet Potatoes, Cauliflower and Beef
* Brown Rice, Spinach and Chicken

About the author: Cheryl Tallman is the co-founder of Fresh Baby, creators of the award-winning So Easy Baby Food Kit, and author of the So Easy Baby Food and the new book So Easy Toddler Food: Survival Tips and Simple Recipes for the Toddler Years. Visit Cheryl online at www.FreshBaby.com for more delicious tips.

Products and books by Cheryl Tallman:

Fresh Baby So Easy Baby Food Kit, 1 kit
Price: $37.99
Designed for babies making the transition from breast or bottle to solid foods (babies about 6 months old), the Fresh Baby So Easy Baby Food Kit takes all of the guesswork out of making baby food. This all-in-one kit includes a cookbook, freezer trays, DVD, and nutrition tips card. The cookbook covers introducing solid food, includes over 40 recipes, hundreds of serving suggestions, and is all organized by age. Freezer trays are designed for storing baby food in pre-portioned one ounce servings to simplify mealtime and reduce waste (2 trays and 2 lids, spill-proof, stackable, dishwasher-safe). The How-to DVD offers step-by-step instruction – from selecting the right produce – to making baby food – to serving it. The nutrition tips card gives you tips on the best sources of nutrients, introducing foods by age, first aid for choking, and more. Colors and styles may vary. Styles are selected at random when shipped.
Available at Buy.com (All the latest Buy.com coupon codes are here.)

So Easy Baby Food Basics: Homemade Baby Food in Less Than 30 Minutes Per Week
Price: $7.16

So Easy Toddler Food: Survival Tips & Simple Recipes for the Toddler Years
Price: $4.69

Today is the first day of summer vacation for my kids. After school yesterday, we took part in our annual last day of school tradition, namely, going to Starbucks for Double Chocolaty Chip Frappucinos and making lists of things we want to do before the school bell rings again in the fall.

I’ll tell you what I want to do: inspire my kids to read. It’s not a problem for the 10 year old. With her, we have the problem of trying to get her to take her nose out of a book on occasion so she doesn’t trip on curbs as she walks down the street.

I want to get each of my kids fired up about reading, and – failing that – at least read enough so they don’t backslide by next year.

Here are some ideas we’re going to try to institute:

1. Start the ‘summer learning adventure’ by heading to the local library. (Though we’ll probably wait until next week. The kids have declared today – the first day of summer break – Kid’s Day, which probably means we’ll ride bikes to the nearest ice cream shop and then run around the neighborhood.)

Many public libraries offer reading programs each summer that challenge your child to read. They may have flyers and contests and giveaways to help your child stay on track and reading suggestions divided by age group.

2. Help your kids share their enthusiasm with younger kids. If you have a middle schooler, for example, you could invite the younger kids over for a storytime in which your older kids read to the little ones. Then serve some popsicles.

3. Tie in books about your vacation destination or the region in which you live. Find a children’s book or middle grade novel that ties into a summer vacation location. Read about the history of an area or read a historical novel that ties into a place you are going to visit.

4. Have a family reading time. Whether you replace an hour of television each night, or start off with a book in the morning, choose a book that everyone will enjoy and take turns reading the story aloud. Make the book come alive by reading the parts with different voices.

5. Let your kids choose whatever they want to read. Let them choose a comic book instead of a chapter book, for example. Some children, especially those that are struggling, prefer comic books because the text is large, the sentences are short, and the entire story isn’t that long. They feel they actually can read and understand comics better because the artwork helps tell the story.

Or choose a book that’s just for fun. My kids have each devoured the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series -though one was introduced to it when it was a bit high for his reading level, and the others were introduced to it when it was too low. They each related to Greg Hefley, and I enjoyed reading parts of it aloud, as well.

6. Use gadgetry to your advantage. If your kids are into screen time, let them borrow your ereader or download a book on their ipod.

7. Find educational computer games and games for video game systems that let your kids have fun while helping them hone their basic skills. (Of course, too many computer games – educational or not – will reduce your child’s activity level, so keep it in moderation.)

Here are a couple to try:

Readingeggs.com – This site is paid but comes with a free trial. Online games and activities, songs, with golden eggs and other rewards, which help kids feel proud of their reading and motivate them to keep learning and exploring.

Hooked on Phonics also has a variety of Reading Solutions for Kids, perfect for summertime. These programs are for kids ages 3 to 12.

Hooked on Phonics can help Pre-K children get a head start on reading before entering kindergarten in the fall. It can help children who struggle with reading catch up over the summer and be ready for the new school year, and it can help children who are on pace with reading have a fun summer learning activity that will also prevent learning loss over the summer.

In addition, here is Momscape’s list of Fun and Educational Sites for Elementary School Students

As well as more ideas on helping your kids learn all summer long.

Here are more ideas for Summer Reading:

Summer Reading Program Fun
Price: $27.54
Make your summer reading program fun with an innovative approach kids will love. Choose one game to plan your summer reading program or try them all, and you have 10 years of programming!

Summer Reading Renaissance
Price: $45.0
Discover a new approach to summer programs that doesn”t involve counting hours and books, giving rewards and awards-just reading, learning, and fun.

Photo Credit: superman by scottfeldstein, on Flickr

We want our kids to look to the future with more excitement than apprehension; more exhilaration than nervousness.

Here are few everyday tips and tools to help you raise your child’s level of confidence.

1. Be a confident mama. The best way to raise confident children is to be confident yourself. Show your children that you are confident in your own abilities – even if that means you don’t always get what you want. Let them see you struggle toward a goal.

Talk openly with your kids about the obstacles you faced and how you overcame them, or what you will do differently in the future.

It’s okay to let your kids see you fail. Kids need to understand that failure is a part of success.  When they realize you can feel confident in your own abilities no matter what the outcome, they can adopt the same attitude.

2. Make sure your kids have sufficient responsibility. One way to build self-confidence in your children is to begin giving them some important responsibilities, commensurate with their age and ability level. This doesn’t mean you have to give them huge tasks. Kids as young as three can put their clothes in a hamper and pick up their toys. Here are some good suggestions for age-appropriate chores, from about.com.

Give your kids age-appropriate tasks which you can know they can accomplish successfully. Then create routines in which they are asked to do these tasks. As your kids get older, ask them to do jobs that take more responsibility. They will see how your confidence in their abilities has grown; their own confidence in their abilities will grow in kind.

3. As much as possible, allow your kids to make decisions of their own. Very young children can be asked something as simple as which type of cereal they would like to eat. As kids get older, you can give them more important decisions to make. Guide them into making wise choices and you’ll also encourage their self-confidence to grow.

4. Praise your children often but be careful how you do it. Some parents go overboard by praising everything their child does, and that can give them a false sense of identity. Kids might think they can’t do wrong. But if you praise your children for the effort they put forth, not necessarily for winning or succeeding, they may be less deterred by setbacks.

5. Tell your children – often – that you believe in them and their ability to make good choices for themselves. Choose your words carefully. Tell them “You’re doing better at . . .” or “I appreciate how you . . .”

Apply encouragement liberally. Really slather it on. Put notes in your children’s lunchbox to encourage them. Write them notes on their birthdays – and throughout the year -  with specific examples of good decisions that they made. When you believe in them, they will be more likely to believe in themselves.

6. Take time to listen to what your children have to say. Your kids need to know that what they say matters to you. Help them learn to express their fears, frustrations and emotions. Support them as much as possible, but correct them if they’re wrong.

7. Allow natural consequences. Rather than always trying to spare your children from pain or heartbreak, let them experience what happens when they make mistakes. Teach them to “own up” to their mistakes and to learn from them. Allow them to see you do the same.

More information on raising confident kids:

Parents Do Make a Difference: How to Raise Kids with Solid Character, Strong Minds and Caring Hearts
by Michele Borba

Momscape articles by Dr. Michele Borba:

Simple Secrets that Create Happy Family Memories
Research has found that doing simple rituals enhances our feelings of togetherness and family belonging by almost 20 percent. And those home traditions and customs also increase our kids’ social skills and development. Here are nine simple, no-cost secrets moms are using to create happy memories.

Teaching Kids How to be Appreciative Even if They’re Disappointed
Dr. Borba on teaching kids how to accept gifts graciously.

By Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller

A time-out is something one takes or is given when one needs a break from their surroundings. A time-out is what we need when we’re sad and want to be alone. It’s useful when we are feeling hurt and don’t know what to say. A time-out is valuable when we’re confused and don’t know what to do. A time-out is an opportunity to reenergize and get ready to effectively address the situation at hand.

Children need time to calm their minds and relax their bodies when they’re frustrated. So do adults. Adults as well as children can use a break from the world around them when they are angry or frustrated. They need an opportunity to get themselves ready to learn a new skill or face a problem. They need time to get back into a solution-seeking mind-set.

The concept of taking time out as it was originally designed was an attempt to give children time to cool down. Its purpose was to provide a safe space and time for a child to calm herself.  Adults need that safe place to calm themselves as well. This can be achieved by taking a walk, riding your bike, or closing the bathroom door. It can be created through gardening, mowing the grass, or hiring a babysitter for an hour.

But how do you know when it is time for a time-out? How can you tell when it would be helpful to enter time-out mode? Check the following guidelines. Here you will find ten ways to tell when taking time out would be helpful.

1. Are you yelling? Is the volume of your voice escalating rapidly? Have you forgotten that increasing the volume of an ineffective verbal  skill only makes it a loud, ineffective verbal skill?  When you hear yourself yelling, be assured that it is time for a time-out. Yours.

2. Are you feeling anxious? Do you have knots in the pit of your stomach? Is anxiety racing through your body? Do you feel your stomach muscles tightening as you prepare to deal with the latest behavior chosen by your child? If so, you could benefit by granting yourself permission to take a time-out.

3. Do you have a strong need to be in control? Are you regularly bossing your children, ordering them about, and telling them what to do? Are you having trouble letting them do it their way? If so, you are overfunctioning and need a break. Give yourself a time-out.

4. Have you noticed that you are not mentally present when you are physically present? Have you been thinking about other things when you play with your children? Are you preoccupied with your adult agenda when you are with them? Then it is time for a time-out.

5. Do you find yourself coming up with new ways to keep your kids occupied, distracted, or entertained? In other words, are you creating or buying things they can do so you can keep them out of your hair? Parental expediency—doing what is easiest for you, what meets your needs—does not always meet the needs of your children. It is a sign that a parental time-out is in order.

6. Have you been hearing any sarcasm come out of your mouth lately? Sarcasm is not funny. It is not a joke. It is a thinly veiled putdown that mocks your child and prevents them from receiving honest, open, descriptive feedback. It is a sure sign that you could use a timeout.

7. Have you struck your child recently? Hitting—yes, this includes spanking—is a major indicator that the time is ripe for you to be in time-out. If you are hitting children, you need to get a grip, get yourself under control, get your temper in check, take control of your runaway ego, and move from the animal part of your brain to the frontal lobe, where reasoning, solution-seeking, planning, and listening can occur. Time out is a good place for that to happen.

8. Are you playing the blame game? Are you good at finding fault in your children without looking inward to see what role you played in creating the current situation? Blaming exhausts your present moments and keeps you from searching for solutions. Take a time-out and use it to reorganize your thinking.

9. Are you using inappropriate language? You know what words we mean. The ones that you don’t want your children saying, the ones they get in trouble for using at school. Watch your language. When you hear yourself use one of these inappropriate words, take a turn in time-out. Use that time effectively by coming up with appropriate synonyms.

10. Have you been engaged in the exact behaviors you want to eliminate in your children? Do you threaten them to stop threatening their sister? Do you tease them about their teasing, hit them so they will stop hitting, yell so they will talk more softly, or bite them to show them how it feels to be bitten? Stop. Proceed immediately to time out.

Use time out to calm down, get centered, and relax. When you can see things differently, from a new perspective, you are ready to return. Focus on solution-seeking, listening, and creating mutual understanding. Take a teaching stance first. If consequences are called for, use them with an open heart. Come from a space of love and caring. Leave anger, annoyance, and frustration back in time-out. Let the child be the child. You be the adult.

Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller are the authors of The Only 3 Discipline Strategies You Will Ever Need. They are two of the world’s foremost authorities on raising responsible, caring, confident children. They publish a free Uncommon Parenting blog. To obtain more information about how they can help you or your group meet your parenting needs, visit their website today: www.uncommon-parenting.com.