Thoughts and ideas on celebrating life with children, by Momscape founder Susie Cortright.
How to Save Money on Baby: Finding Discounted and Free Baby Products
Raising a baby can be expensive, but, with a little online savvy and some help from your friends, you can save bundles and even find some free baby stuff. Article includes links to baby freebies, free baby magazines, savings on diapers and formula, discount baby furniture and gear and baby-related coupon codes.
Tips for Avoiding Cyber Bullying
Bullying has gone wireless. What is ‘Cyber Bullying’ and what can you do to stop it? School violence expert Derek Randel has some tips you and your kids can use today.
Loving Your Toddler
Your baby is growing into her own person. Your challenge is to keep your sanity and keep her safe. Your best strategy is to cultivate a great relationship with her and enjoy her emerging independence. Here are 14 tips from parenting expert Laura Markham.
All Toddler Articles at Momscape >
Causes of Sibling Rivalries
Are you inadvertently fueling sibling rivalry? Authors and parenting experts Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman give us 10 surefire ways to create sibling rivalry. See if you’re doing any of these in your home.
I’ve just posted a new product review of the Bugaboo Chameleon Stroller:
http://www.momscape.com/product-reviews/bugaboo-chameleon-stroller.htm
Denise Roy, author of My Monastery is a Minivan has published a new “spiritual handbook” for busy moms. It’s titled Momfulness: Mothering Mindfulness, Compassion, and Grace.
I’ve just published our review here:
http://www.momscape.com/product-reviews/momfulness.htm
Product: Fuzzi Bunz cloth diapers
Rating: 9
Where to buy: amazon.com
(Current amazon.com coupon codes are here: http://www.susies-coupons.com/books.htm )
Description: Fuzzi Bunz conists of a waterproof outer layer, and then they have a pocket, which contains a very absorbent removable liner. This liner is usually microfiber, so ift’s very thin but highly absorbent. The diapers close with plastic snaps, so there’s no Velcro that often just ends up picking up lint from the dryer.
Review: The Fuzzi Bunz cloth diapers are a wonderful cloth diaper system. They are more trim than most of the cloth diapers, yet they supeabsorbent. And because the absorbent layer is inside the pocket, your baby won’t feel the wetness against her skin. But because there are two parts to the diaper, it’s quicker to wash and dry them than other all-in-one diaper alternatives.
You can get Fuzzi Bunz in an assortment of colors. They are a little expensive, but they are such high quality that they can be used for more than one child.
More Reviewer Comments at amazon.com here
Helping Children Cope with the Loss of a Pet
Any pet owner will tell you that the loss of a pet was one of the hardest times in their lives. Cats and dogs are like family members. Even to a child, the loss of a fish, turtle, or hamster can be devastating.
Help your child cope with the loss of a pet by acknowledging her feelings. Use the word “died” when breaking the news. If you use words like lost, passed, a sleep – it will only serve to confuse. “If Fluffy is lost, let’s go find her.” If you say that you had to put Mr. Wrinkles to sleep and he’s not coming back, good luck trying to get your child to go to sleep again.
Try to prepare you child before the pet dies. It should just be an accepted fact that we all die. Everything on earth has a beginning and an ending. It will still be difficult no matter how prepared you try to be, but it will alleviate some of the devastation.
You know your child best, if it is appropriate to hold a small funeral or memorial service then do so. It helps to bring closure to the death. Try to answer questions as openly and honestly as possible. Some children want to know or believe in an afterlife for their pet. Others want to know where the body went. Give them age appropriate responses.
Encourage your child to recall all the good memories by framing a photo, making a collage or drawing pictures. You may at some point decide to get a new pet. However right after the loss of a pet do not try to encourage the child by announcing that you’ll get a new one. That is distracting from the mourning that needs to happen.
If someone’s mother died, you wouldn’t say “it’ll be okay, we’ll get you a new one!” A pet to a child is often looked at as a best friend. Pets are loyal and place no demands on the child other than food and to be let outside.
The loss of the family pet will be noticed. Allow your child time to mourn - cry, to talk about his/her feelings. Acknowledge the loss.
To everything there is a season; a time to be born and a time to die. As sad as death is, we have come to realize it as a part of life. What to say when your child asks about death will be dependent upon age and maturity level. What you tell a three year old will be different than talking to a nine year old.
You could tell your preschooler that “Grandpa was very sick. The doctor’s did all they could to help him feel better, but he died. Now he’s in Heaven.” Often at that age you may get a response such as “Oh. Okay” and then she will go back to playing with her baby doll. Or you may get asked “what does died mean?”
Do not use the words “sleeping” or “passed on.” Children do not under stand passed on; and if you use sleeping, they may be afraid they won’t wake up from their nap. It’s okay to say someone died.
Older children may have a much harder time accepting and understanding deaths. If they ask about the death of someone they knew, they may question why it happened or proclaim it’s not fair. Some may blame God. They may be so overcome with grief that they don’t know how to handle that emotion. They will likely experience denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and eventually acceptance.
If your child just has more general questions, not necessarily as a result of death of someone close to them, the most important thing you can tell her is the truth. Reinforce that all living things die. Remind her of plants and insects, or pets.
Encourage your child not to focus on the why. We don’t always have answers why someone gets a terminal disease or was killed by a drunk driver or involved in an accident. Reinforce the feelings everyone experiences (the five stages of grief). Promote celebrating life, not centering on the death.
Thank your child to coming to you with questions. That is the kind of communication all parent hope to foster.
You knew your baby would be beautiful. You knew you would love your newborn. But you had no idea just how much that little person would mean to you. You spend hours staring at her little face, fingers and toes. You derive so much pleasure watching him sleep.
You would absolutely love to spend every waking hour with your baby. Unfortunately, obligations necessitate the need for you to go back to work outside the home. Or you may have a career you’ve worked hard for and want to balance mother-hood and career.
Here are a few options you can consider if you feel unprepared to return to work:
If you have the option of returning to your former employer inquire about working part time or telecommuting. With telecommuting you could work out of your home doing the same or similar position you did prior to your maternity leave. Of course if you were a server in a restaurant telecommuting would not work.
Perhaps you can change your hours to work around a spouse’s schedule. Some employers may allow you to work four ten-hour shifts. You won’t know if they are willing to work with you unless you ask.
Start looking for child care as soon as you know you will be returning to work. Ask friends with young children for referrals. While price and location are considerations they should not be top priority. You are hiring someone to care for your baby; therefore you will need to conduct in-home interviews to find the best provider.
Once you return home from your job outside the home your second shift begins – caring for baby, spouse and the house. That alone is a full time job. Add outside employment to the mix and you will begin to wonder if you will ever get an eight hour night of sleep again!
Don’t try to be Super Mom. Accept offers of help. If someone says “let me know if there is anything I can do” – then let them know. Have them come over for 2-3 hours so you can take a nap or a bath. Let them cut the grass, shovel the snow or take older children to events.
Balancing a career and a family can be quite an undertaking. However if you learn to pace yourself and accept aid from others, you will be much better off to parent your child.