The Power of Failure: 10 Great Quotes on Learning From Your Mistakes

Many of our favorite quotes have something to do with overcoming the fear of failure. Here are ten of the best:

“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.” Scott Adams

“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to continually be afraid you will make one.” Elbert Hubbard

“The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing, and becomes nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn and feel and change and grow and love and live.” Leo F. Buscaglia

“We overestimate the event and underestimate the process. Every fulfilled dream occurred because of dedication to the process.” John Maxwell.

“Failure is a signpost to turn you in another direction.”
Oprah Winfrey

“Good people are good because they have come to wisdom through failure. We get very little wisdom through success.” William Saroyan

“While one person hesitates because he feels inferior, the other person is busy making mistakes and becoming superior.”
Henry Link

“When we give ourselves permission to fail, we at the same time give ourselves permission to excel.”
Eloise Ristad

“Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.” Leonard Cohen

“I failed my way to success.”
Thomas Edison

More great quote collections at Momscape:
Top 50 Mom Quotations
Funny Mom Quotes
Love Quotes
Cute, Funny Love quotes.
Top 50 Father Quotes
Forgiveness Quotes
Inspiring Martin Luther King Quotes

What are your favorite quotes?

7 Tips for Raising Confident Kids

confidence children
Photo Credit: superman by scottfeldstein, on Flickr

We want our kids to look to the future with more excitement than apprehension; more exhilaration than nervousness.

Here are few everyday tips and tools to help you raise your child’s level of confidence.

1. Be a confident mama. The best way to raise confident children is to be confident yourself. Show your children that you are confident in your own abilities – even if that means you don’t always get what you want. Let them see you struggle toward a goal.

Talk openly with your kids about the obstacles you faced and how you overcame them, or what you will do differently in the future.

It’s okay to let your kids see you fail. Kids need to understand that failure is a part of success.  When they realize you can feel confident in your own abilities no matter what the outcome, they can adopt the same attitude.

2. Make sure your kids have sufficient responsibility. One way to build self-confidence in your children is to begin giving them some important responsibilities, commensurate with their age and ability level. This doesn’t mean you have to give them huge tasks. Kids as young as three can put their clothes in a hamper and pick up their toys. Here are some good suggestions for age-appropriate chores, from about.com.

Give your kids age-appropriate tasks which you can know they can accomplish successfully. Then create routines in which they are asked to do these tasks. As your kids get older, ask them to do jobs that take more responsibility. They will see how your confidence in their abilities has grown; their own confidence in their abilities will grow in kind.

3. As much as possible, allow your kids to make decisions of their own. Very young children can be asked something as simple as which type of cereal they would like to eat. As kids get older, you can give them more important decisions to make. Guide them into making wise choices and you’ll also encourage their self-confidence to grow.

4. Praise your children often but be careful how you do it.
Some parents go overboard by praising everything their child does, and that can give them a false sense of identity. Kids might think they can’t do wrong. But if you praise your children for the effort they put forth, not necessarily for winning or succeeding, they may be less deterred by setbacks.

5. Tell your children – often – that you believe in them and their ability to make good choices for themselves. Choose your words carefully. Tell them “You’re doing better at . . .” or “I appreciate how you . . .”

Apply encouragement liberally. Really slather it on. Put notes in your children’s lunchbox to encourage them. Write them notes on their birthdays – and throughout the year -  with specific examples of good decisions that they made. When you believe in them, they will be more likely to believe in themselves.

6. Take time to listen to what your children have to say. Your kids need to know that what they say matters to you. Help them learn to express their fears, frustrations and emotions. Support them as much as possible, but correct them if they’re wrong.

7. Allow natural consequences. Rather than always trying to spare your children from pain or heartbreak, let them experience what happens when they make mistakes. Teach them to “own up” to their mistakes and to learn from them. Allow them to see you do the same.

More information on raising confident kids:

Parents Do Make a Difference: How to Raise Kids with Solid Character, Strong Minds and Caring Hearts
by Michele Borba

Momscape articles by Dr. Michele Borba:

Simple Secrets that Create Happy Family Memories
Research has found that doing simple rituals enhances our feelings of togetherness and family belonging by almost 20 percent. And those home traditions and customs also increase our kids’ social skills and development. Here are nine simple, no-cost secrets moms are using to create happy memories.

Teaching Kids How to be Appreciative Even if They’re Disappointed
Dr. Borba on teaching kids how to accept gifts graciously.

Cuisinart EM-200 Espresso Maker – Today’s Product Pick

Cuisinart EM-200 Programmable 15-bar Espresso Maker

Today’s Product Pick: Cuisinart EM-200 Programmable Espresso Maker
Where to buy: Overstock.com (Momscape loves Overstock.com, so we publish current Overstock coupon codes. Make sure to check here for new Overstock coupons before you make a purchase.)
Review by: ACMMom

If you love your speciality coffees, and you like to make them at home, then the Cuisinart EM-200 Programmable Espresso Maker is a great investment. You can treat yourself to delicious and perfect lattes, cappuccinos or even a sip of espresso to keep you going.

The espresso maker is very easy to use, but if in doubt, the included Instructional Cuisinart Espresso Maker DVD can help you. Use your preferred espresso coffee or espresso pods and press the appropriate button (single shot or double shot).

The machine automatically gets the right amount of water and you can enjoy a perfect cup of espresso. The espresso machine also comes with various tools, such as tamping tool and measuring spoon, and a stainless steel jug to make frothing milk a breeze. The machine is easy to clean due to its removable trays and covers. The included drink booklet gives you recipes/ideas how to make different coffee drinks just like a professional barista.

All in all, if you like your various speciality coffees in the comfort of your home, the Cuisinart Espresso Maker offers great value for money. In no time at all, you will be able to enjoy a tasty morning latte or a refreshing after-dinner espresso.

Here’s the product description, from Overstock:

Brew your own delicious lattes and cappuccinos at home with this programmable espresso maker from Cuisinart. This appliance features pre-programmed cup sizes and a 15-bar pump.
*Brews single or double espresso
*15 bars of pressure; uses either ground espresso or pods
*Steam nozzle for cappuccino or latte
*Pre-programmed cup sizes
*Frothing cup and tamping tool included
*Removable 64-ounce water reservoir with lid with two options for filling with water\
*Cup-warming plate for warming espresso cups
*15-bar pump
*Manual button: Used for a continuous pour of espresso
*1-cup button: Used for a single serving of espresso, 1.5 ounces
*2-cup button: Used for a double serving of espresso, 3 ounces
*Program button: Used to set the number of ounces needed
*Steam button: Used when making cappuccinos and lattes–will flash until ready for use
*Portafilter holder: Can be used with ground or pod espresso–has two positions, lock and unlock, for ease of cleaning
*Brew head: For easy fit of the portafilter holder *Steam or hot water control dial: Use to activate steam or hot water
*Commercial steam wand: Use to steam milk for cappuccinos and lattes
*Removable drip tray: Removable drip tray with grate
*Cleaning pins: Used to clean any excess milk that gets stuck inside the steam wand or any coffee particles that get stuck inside the filter
*Stainless frothing pitcher: Used for steaming milk for cappuccinos and lattes
*Measuring scoop/tamping tool: Use one side as a coffee scoop and the other to tamp the coffee grinds in the filter basket
*Filter baskets: Use the one cup filter for a single espresso and the two cup filter basket for the double espresso, and the pod filter basket for espresso pods


Buy now >

Scrapbook Flowers – How to Make Your Own Rose Embellishments

RF14-Glitter

There are some gorgeous scrapbook flower embellishments available on the market today. But at $3.99 for a set of 6 flowers, your scrapbook project can get quite pricey. Here you will learn how to create your own flowers. Today, we’ll make a simple rose, and you can vary the colors, sizes and materials used for infinite possibilities.

Supply list:

  • 1” circle punch
  • cardstock or patterned paper
  • adhesive (glossy accents by Ranger)
  • brads, buttons, etc. (for flower center)
  • glimmer mists, powered pearls, glitter glue (optional)

Step 1: Punch Circles

Punch 15 one inch circles. You might want to try turning your punch upside-down, so you can better see where you’re punching.

Step 2:  Roll Circles

Roll each circle. We used a Qtip, but you can use any found object. This step seems tedious, but actually can be done fairly quickly. Simply roll and slide off.

Step 3: Pinch each Circle.

Pinch one side of the circle to form a petal. There really isn’t an exact science to this step.

You should now have 15 petals.


Step 4: Apply Adhesive to Circle Base

We love Glossy Accents by Ranger because it is strong and dries rather quickly. Apply liberally all around circle base. We used a 1 1/2” circle.


Step 5: Adhere Pinched Circles to Base

Adhere the flatter part of the petal to the base.

Continue to add petals around the base.

We ended up with 6 petals as my bottom layer.

Step 6: Adhere Petals for Second Layer

For the second layer, we added 6 petals again, placing the points between the points of the first layer. You will also notice in the photo below, we flattened the petals a bit on my bottom layer.


Continue adding petals.

Step 7: Adhere Petals for Third Layer

We added 3 petals for the third layer. You may need to apply more adhesive.

Step 8: Embellish Center

We had extra adhesive in the center and decided to add some mini beads.  You can use any type of embellishment for the center of your flower.

At this point you could be done with your flower, or…

Step 9: Add Designer Touches

A few ideas to enhance your flower include misting with Glimmer Mist to add a sparkle.  You can also add shine with various other products you have in your craft arsenol like powdered pearls, inks, chalks, glitter, etc.

We used Glimmer Mist and added glitter glue to the edges.

The finished flower…

With adult supervision (and some modifications in the supplies list), this can be a kid-friendly craft, too. Your little princesses will love making these papercrafted flowers to decorate their homemade tiaras.  Just use Elmer’s glue instead of Ranger adhesive.

Here are more Free Scrapbooking Ideas >
Here are more Family Fun Ideas >
The latest coupons for Joann.com >

Site Recommendation: Here’s a site we love to browse – Make and Takes. Creative but easy craft ideas (and lots of them are kid friendly).

Ten Ways to Tell If YOU Need a Time-Out

By Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller

A time-out is something one takes or is given when one needs a break from their surroundings. A time-out is what we need when we’re sad and want to be alone. It’s useful when we are feeling hurt and don’t know what to say. A time-out is valuable when we’re confused and don’t know what to do. A time-out is an opportunity to reenergize and get ready to effectively address the situation at hand.

Children need time to calm their minds and relax their bodies when they’re frustrated. So do adults. Adults as well as children can use a break from the world around them when they are angry or frustrated. They need an opportunity to get themselves ready to learn a new skill or face a problem. They need time to get back into a solution-seeking mind-set.

The concept of taking time out as it was originally designed was an attempt to give children time to cool down. Its purpose was to provide a safe space and time for a child to calm herself.  Adults need that safe place to calm themselves as well. This can be achieved by taking a walk, riding your bike, or closing the bathroom door. It can be created through gardening, mowing the grass, or hiring a babysitter for an hour.

But how do you know when it is time for a time-out? How can you tell when it would be helpful to enter time-out mode? Check the following guidelines. Here you will find ten ways to tell when taking time out would be helpful.

1. Are you yelling? Is the volume of your voice escalating rapidly? Have you forgotten that increasing the volume of an ineffective verbal  skill only makes it a loud, ineffective verbal skill?  When you hear yourself yelling, be assured that it is time for a time-out. Yours.

2. Are you feeling anxious?
Do you have knots in the pit of your stomach? Is anxiety racing through your body? Do you feel your stomach muscles tightening as you prepare to deal with the latest behavior chosen by your child? If so, you could benefit by granting yourself permission to take a time-out.

3. Do you have a strong need to be in control? Are you regularly bossing your children, ordering them about, and telling them what to do? Are you having trouble letting them do it their way? If so, you are overfunctioning and need a break. Give yourself a time-out.

4. Have you noticed that you are not mentally present when you are physically present? Have you been thinking about other things when you play with your children? Are you preoccupied with your adult agenda when you are with them? Then it is time for a time-out.

5. Do you find yourself coming up with new ways to keep your kids occupied, distracted, or entertained? In other words, are you creating or buying things they can do so you can keep them out of your hair? Parental expediency—doing what is easiest for you, what meets your needs—does not always meet the needs of your children. It is a sign that a parental time-out is in order.

6. Have you been hearing any sarcasm come out of your mouth lately? Sarcasm is not funny. It is not a joke. It is a thinly veiled putdown that mocks your child and prevents them from receiving honest, open, descriptive feedback. It is a sure sign that you could use a timeout.

7. Have you struck your child recently? Hitting—yes, this includes spanking—is a major indicator that the time is ripe for you to be in time-out. If you are hitting children, you need to get a grip, get yourself under control, get your temper in check, take control of your runaway ego, and move from the animal part of your brain to the frontal lobe, where reasoning, solution-seeking, planning, and listening can occur. Time out is a good place for that to happen.

8. Are you playing the blame game? Are you good at finding fault in your children without looking inward to see what role you played in creating the current situation? Blaming exhausts your present moments and keeps you from searching for solutions. Take a time-out and use it to reorganize your thinking.

9. Are you using inappropriate language? You know what words we mean. The ones that you don’t want your children saying, the ones they get in trouble for using at school. Watch your language. When you hear yourself use one of these inappropriate words, take a turn in time-out. Use that time effectively by coming up with appropriate synonyms.

10. Have you been engaged in the exact behaviors you want to eliminate in your children? Do you threaten them to stop threatening their sister? Do you tease them about their teasing, hit them so they will stop hitting, yell so they will talk more softly, or bite them to show them how it feels to be bitten? Stop. Proceed immediately to time out.

Use time out to calm down, get centered, and relax. When you can see things differently, from a new perspective, you are ready to return. Focus on solution-seeking, listening, and creating mutual understanding. Take a teaching stance first. If consequences are called for, use them with an open heart. Come from a space of love and caring. Leave anger, annoyance, and frustration back in time-out. Let the child be the child. You be the adult.

Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller
are the authors of The Only 3 Discipline Strategies You Will Ever Need. They are two of the world’s foremost authorities on raising responsible, caring, confident children. They publish a free Uncommon Parenting blog. To obtain more information about how they can help you or your group meet your parenting needs, visit their website today: www.uncommon-parenting.com.

Kid-Friendly Breakfasts

By Cheryl Tallman, www.FreshBaby.com

Healthy Breakfast = protein + fruits or vegetables + whole grains + calcium

Here are some ideas:

• Peanut butter and fruit spread on whole wheat toast, ½ an orange and a glass of milk

• Peanut butter spread on apple slices and a bowl of whole grain cereal with milk

• Toasted whole wheat bagel spread with peanut butter and honey, topped with slices of bananas and a glass of milk

• Bowl of oatmeal with brown sugar, peanut butter and milk and a glass of orange juice

EGGS

• Breakfast burrito: scrambled egg, black beans, and salsa wrapped in a whole wheat tortilla and a glass of orange juice

• Breakfast Pizza: Toasted English muffin spread with marinara sauce, topped with a scrambled egg, sprinkled with cheese and toasted. Served with a glass of fruit juice

• Toasted English muffin, a hardboiled egg, a glass of milk and a bowl of strawberries

• Morning Classic: Scrambled egg, a slice of American cheese on a toasted bagel with fresh apple slices

YOGURT & CHEESE

• Yogurt, whole wheat toast, buttered, a handful of raisins and a glass of water

• Fruit smoothie with toasted whole wheat bagel with butter

• Toasted whole wheat bagel with cream cheese, topped with sliced mango and a glass of milk

• Slice of cheese melted on whole-wheat toast with orange slices and a glass of milk

GRAINS & CEREALS

• A bowl of whole-grain cereal with milk, a banana and a glass of water

• Buckwheat pancakes with maple syrup, a bowl of melon and a glass of milk

• Carrot Cake Muffin, a handful of cashews, grapes and a glass of milk

• French Toast with maple syrup, cinnamon apples and a glass of milk.

MEAT & BEANS

• Grilled ham with fresh pineapple, toast and a glass of milk

• Melt a slice of cheese on top of White Bean dip (or refried beans) spread on a toasted English Muffin. Serve with a glass of fruit juice

• Smoked salmon, tomato slice and cream cheese on a toasted bagel with a glass of orange juice

• Breakfast BLT: Turkey Bacon, Lettuce, Tomato and cream cheese on toast, with a glass of apple juice

And here are some kid-friendly breakfast recipes:

French Toast with Cinnamon Apples

French toast does not have to be a weekend treat.  Make 8-10 pieces and freeze the slices (separate the slices with wax paper) in a freezer storage bag. When a French Toast morning arrives, take the French Toast slices out of the freezer, pop them into the toaster oven and get the syrup and apples ready!

Ingredients:
3-4 eggs
1/4 cup milk
8-10 pieces whole wheat bread
Cooking spray or 1 tsp butter
Maple Syrup
Cinnamon Apples (recipe below)

Directions:
Heat a flat, non-stick pan over medium heat.  Spray the pan with cooking spray or melt the butter and swirl around to cost the bottom of the pan. In a flat-bottomed bowl or rimmed dish whisk together egg, milk and cinnamon.  Working one slice at a time, dip both sides of the bread slice in the egg mixture and place in the warm pan.  Brown both sides of the bread using a spatula to flip the bread slice over (about 2 minutes on each side).  Place on plate. Serve with cinnamon apples and maple syrup.

Cinnamon Apples
Ingredients:
2 Golden Delicious apples
Dash of cinnamon

Directions:
Wash, peel, and core the apples. Cut the apples into ½ inch pieces. Place the apple pieces in a plastic bag and sprinkle a dash of cinnamon over them. Close the bag and shake it so the cinnamon is distributed evenly over all of the slices. Place the apples in a microwave-safe dish and cook them in the microwave on HIGH for 3 minutes. Let them stand for 5 minutes. They are done if a fork slides into them easily.  Can be frozen.

Carrot Cake Muffins
A store-bought cake mix makes this recipe a snap!  Freezing these delicious muffins can make breakfast better (and easier) than ever!  Simply defrost and eat.

Ingredients:
1 Package Spice Cake Mix (plus the ingredients listed on the box to make it)
2 cups carrots shredded
1 can crushed pineapple, drained
¾ cup pecans, chopped
Paper Baking Cups for the muffin pan

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Line the muffin pans with baking cups. Prepare the cake mix according to the package directions.  Stir in the carrots, pineapple and pecans. Spoon the batter into the muffin cups.  Bake for 30 minutes.  Check for doneness by sliding a toothpick into the center of a muffin.  If it comes out clean, they are done. If not, bake another 5 minutes and check again.  Cool for 10 minutes before removing from pans.

Spinach Quiche

Quiche is quick to make, and makes a healthy breakfast for children and adults. Make it ahead of time, cut it into single serving pieces, wrap the individual pieces in foil or plastic wrap and freeze them. In the morning just defrost and reheat in the microwave. Simple and very tasty.

Ingredients:
¾ cup of shredded Swiss cheese
¾ cup of shredded cheddar cheese
¼ cup of finely chopped onion
1 (10oz.) package of frozen chopped spinach, squeezed dry
4 eggs
1 cup of half & half or milk
1 Tbsp flour
½ tsp salt
½ tsp pepper
1 prepared 9 inch pie crust

Directions:
Preheat oven to 375ºF. Sprinkle spinach and onion in prepared pie crust. Toss cheese with flour and sprinkle in the pie crust. In a large bowl gently whisk together eggs, half & half (or milk), salt and pepper. Pour this mixture over all of the other ingredients in the pie crust. Bake 50-60 minutes, or until knife inserted in middle comes out clean. Let stand 10 to 12 minutes before serving. If you are cutting it into single servings and freezing it, let the quiche cool completely.

About the Author:

Cheryl Tallman is the co-founder of Fresh Baby, creators of the award-winning So Easy Baby Food Kit, and author of the So Easy Baby Food Basics: Homemade Baby Food in Less Than 30 Minutes Per Week and So Easy Toddler Food: Survival Tips and Simple Recipes for the Toddler Years. Visit Cheryl online at www.FreshBaby.com to sign up for her newsletter and her blog feed.

101 Businesses You Can Start With Less Than One Thousand Dollars: For Stay-at-Home Moms and Dads

Today’s Momscape Product Pick: 101 Businesses You Can Start With Less Than One Thousand Dollars: For Stay-at-Home Moms and Dads

Review by: ACMom

Where to buy
: Borders.com or Amazon.com

101 Businesses You Can Start at With Less Than One Thousand Dollars: For Stay-at-Home Moms & Dads

If you’ve ever thought about starting your own home-based business, so you can spend more time with your kids, this book is a great starting point.

The book gives good advice and answers questions you might have with regards to health care, retirement fund, the benefits but also the negative aspects of running a business from home. You will also be guided through a self-evaluation of your skills: what you have to offer, what you need to work on to be successful. You learn about advertising and marketing, business plans, licenses, taxes and most importantly how you plan to finance your business. The book gives ideas on where and how to find start-up capital.

In addition to all the advice, you will find 101 business ideas that you can start up with minimal investment. It’s up to you to decide which one is the one you will enjoy spending hours and hours developing and growing it. It has to be something you deeply care about in order for it to be successful. It can be a hobby or even a service you do for others.

Overall, this book will definitely give you lots of food for thought and should help you to decide whether running your own business, and which kind of business, is the right thing for you.

Here’s the product description and a direct “buy” link from Borders.com

Most parents today have a tough time economically: they have to be at home raising their children so they cannot work much and the jobs that are out there are often part-time and low paying. Yet most families need two incomes today to get ahead. Detailed in this new book are over 100 business ideas that can be started for very little money and yet may provide parents with a lot more money than they would be paid by the hour. This is a collection of businesses selected especially for stay-at-home parents who are interested in augmenting their income. These businesses can be started with minimum training and investment and are all capable of producing extra income. Most can easily be operated by one person and eventually be sold for an additional profit. Many of these businesses can actually be started with less than one hundred dollars and some can really be started with next to nothing. All can be operated from home. Starting and managing a business takes motivation and talent. It also takes research and planning. This new book is intended to serve as a roadmap for starting your business. It is both comprehensive and easy to use.

Buy now at Borders.

This title is also available from Amazon.com here.

Plum Organics and the Squirt Spoon – Today’s Product Pick

“The.Best.Invention.for.Babies.Ever.”

That’s how my friend introduced me to her daughter’s cute squirty little spoon and lip-smackin’ baby food.

I’m sitting at my son’s soccer practice yesterday afternoon, and my friend sits down on the grass beside me with her 8-month old to show me something that really is very smart.

Now, granted, there have been a lot of amazing inventions in the baby care industry, but we think this is pretty innovative, and it’s all about making a mama’s life easier. Especially those of us who are always on the go.

Have you seen these?

These are little BPA-Free Squirt Spoons, which attach directly to the top of a pouch of Plum Organics baby food. Once you have screwed on your little spoon, all you need to do is squeeze the pouch and feed your baby. It’s no mess and goes anywhere for easy, one-handed feeding.

The pouch is resealable and all the packaging is BPA free. The pouches feature organic baby foods in a variety of fruits and vegetable combinations. (That’s Second Blends Baby Food – Pear and Mango pictured below.)

Plum Organics uses only organic fruits and vegetables, which are cooked slowly to retain a rich mix of flavors, colors and textures. And the innovative pouch retains the freshness, flavor and nutrients of the purees. Each of these Plum Organics baby food products are certified organic, nutrient rich, free of high fructose corn syrup, trans fats, and artificial ingredients and use BPA-free packaging.

Very cool.

So cool, in fact, that this mama said her 2nd grade son loves ‘em, too, so he occasionally gets them in his lunchbox, as well.

We found Plum Organics Spoons and pouches at three of our favorite online retailers, and we publish coupon codes for these sites, when available.
Here are the links to the coupon pages:
Baby Universe Coupons
Babies R Us Coupons
Diapers.com coupons

How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty

by Amber Rosenberg

Do you find it difficult to say no? Do you have a fear of displeasing others? Do you have trouble expressing your true feelings?

You’re not alone. In my work with successful and motivated women, these are a few of their most common challenges.

If you struggle with some of these issues too, it may be helpful for you to examine your personal boundaries and determine where you can strengthen them. Simply put, personal boundaries are the limits you place between yourself and others. The stronger your boundaries, the more free you feel to express yourself.

We all have certain relationships and situations where our boundaries are stronger and certain relationships and situations where our boundaries need work. Frequently, the closer we are to someone (i.e. – romantic partners, children and parents), the harder it is to maintain strong boundaries.

Below are a few signs of weak boundaries:

- Difficulty in asking for what you want or need

- Allowing others’ opinions to determine your self- worth

- Taking things too personally

- Difficulty in standing up for yourself

- Feeling like a victim

- Feeling obligated or indebted

- Allowing others’ bad moods to rub off on you

I invite you to take a look at your own life and think about where your boundaries are strong and where they need work. You can test the strength of your boundaries in various aspects of your life by asking yourself the following questions:

In this situation/relationship, “How free do I feel to express myself?” “How free do I feel to ask for what I want?”

Once you have an idea of where your boundaries need work, you can start practicing your communication techniques.

Setting boundaries is best done with a graceful or neutral tone. This will feel uncomfortable at first, but as you take care of yourself, the personal power you gain will make it easier. When setting boundaries, there is no need to justify, give excuses or over- explain your feelings. Be firm, gracious and direct. When faced with resistance, repeat your statement or request.

Below are a few neutral responses to common situations:

To set a boundary with an angry person: “You may not yell at me. If you continue, I’ll have to leave the room.”

To set a boundary with someone who is critical: “That is an inappropriate comment. Please stop.”

To buy yourself time when making tough decisions: “I’ll have to sleep on it. I have a policy of not making decisions right away.”

To say no to extra commitments: “Although this organization is important to me, I can’t participate now because my time is already over-committed.”

To back out of a commitment: “After reviewing my schedule, I now realize that I won’t be able to give this project my best attention. I’d like to help find a replacement by the end of next week.

To set a boundary with an adult child who borrows money: “I won’t be lending you money anymore. I love you and you need to take responsibility for yourself.”

Once you’ve tested out these neutral responses, you can craft your own responses to specific situations or relationships in your life.

Strengthening your boundaries is one of the best ways to attract new positive relationships and transform existing relationships, which will have a powerful impact in both your personal and professional life. Strong boundaries will give you the confidence to speak your truth and to choose what you want (and don’t want) in your life. What do you choose?

About the Author:
Amber Rosenberg, owner, Pacific Life Coach, has helped hundreds of women to communicate more effectively and to enjoy greater success in their personal and professional relationships. She is a contributor to the book ‘Inspiration to Realization’, a self-help book for women, a popular speaker, and a writer for Know Yourself Magazine. She also has ten years communications experience for Fortune 500 companies and non-profit organizations. To order a signed copy of her book, to sign-up for the Confident Woman FREE monthly e-zine or a half hour complimentary phone consultation, go to http://www.pacificlifecoach.com

Related Momscape Articles:

Overcoming Guilt: Escaping the Guilt Trap

Working Mommy Guilt; Four Tips to Help You Cope

Building Self Confidence: Five Steps to a More Confident You

Mom’s ‘One Line a Day’ Diary: Today’s Product Pick

Mom's One Line a Day: A Five-Year Memory Book



Mom’s One Line a Day: A Five-Year Memory Book

For the busy mom-on-the-go, this memory keeper offers a quick and easy way to capture the everyday moments of motherhood. With enough space to record a single thought, a family quote, or a special event each day for five years, this beautiful keepsake makes sure those precious memories will last a lifetime.

Perfect for the mom who feels like she’s too busy to scrapbook, this is a great way to capture those important memories (before they begin to fade.)

It’s not daunting to keep up with this journal, and it makes a great gift for the mom-to-be. (Click here for more Gifts for Her or, in particular, new mom gift ideas.)

The Mom’s Online Line a Day diary is available in hardcover from Borders.com