Toots. No Maytals.

Or Things I Got All Wrong

So, yesterday, some friends and I were talking about things you thought were true your whole life and then you have this crazy, embarrassing and usually public epiphany.

So today I’m going to share with you one of those things I always thought I had right only to realize that, no, no, I had it all wrong.

Here you go:

When my kids were babies and they would pass gas, my husband would check their diapers and, if they were in the clear, he would occasionally say “Toots but no Maytals.” This meant, “False alarm. No need to change this diaper.”

So, in my mind, I guess I kind of made the word Maytals synonymous with, well, baby poop.

On this went, through three babies.

I would change the diaper and exclaim things such as “Oh, heavenly Maytals!”

For all these many years, I had no earthly idea that Toots and the Maytals was a reggae band. I was sitting in a café when I read an author (I think it was Anne Lamott) make a little mention about a Toots and the Maytals concert.

All at once, I tried to recall all of the times I had made a reference to “Toots but No Maytals” or “Toots and Mucho Maytals” in public, but I couldn’t. There were too many.

I’m comforted by the fact that it’s not the first (and definitely won’t be the last) time I have displayed my total ignorance of popular culture.


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