Make Yourself a Dispensable Parent: Advice on Raising Independent Kids

Make Yourself Dispensable

By Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman

Raising a responsible young adult, one who can function effectively in today’s world, does not happen by luck, coincidence, or magic. It occurs only where parents set out to make it happen by working diligently and purposefully throughout a child’s life to see that the child learns about independence, responsibility, and personal power. It happens where and when parents work intentionally to make themselves dispensable in a child’s life.

Are you interested in making yourself more dispensable so your child can become more responsible and independent? If so, use the suggestions below to will help you move closer to your goal of raising an independent, autonomous, fully functioning young adult.

1. Believe that making yourself dispensable is your main job as a parent. If you believe that your job is to be needed, that your central role is to do for your children, you will have a difficult time implementing the ideas that follow.

Helping doesn’t always help. Sometimes it creates learned helplessness. When you do for your children the things they can do for themselves, you are over-functioning. Over-functioning begins with the belief that my children need me to do for them. Change that belief to— my job is to help my children do for themselves.

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