01.27.07
Helping Teens Deal with Aggression
Children learn what they live. Teenagers are no exception. If they live in a household where shouting, profanity or worse goes on, the likelihood that your teen will deal with aggression in the same manner is high.
But even in households where these examples have not been set, many teens go through an aggressive or acting out phase.
Trying to deal with your teen in the middle of an aggressive episode is like trying to pick up leaves in a windstorm. You may need to remove your teen from the situation, but trying to reason with her is best left until she calms down.
Anger is being upset. Aggression is acting out. It is important to find out why there is so much aggression in your teen. Don’t over look that it could be a chemical imbalance. Other reasons could be guilt, deep seeded anger, fear, feelings of betrayal, entitlement or insecurity.
In some cases outside help will be needed. Counseling at school or by a third party can on occasion work wonders if your child is able to openly discuss concerns with a nonbiased person. Other times you may be able to work toward a resolve with your teen.
He may be harboring feelings that you didn’t even know existed. While not acceptable, these hidden, unresolved feelings can manifest themselves in outrage. Aggression is often brought on by certain triggers. Sit down and discuss these triggers with your teen.
He may be able to tell you that when someone tells him what to do he gets furious. That’s a good starting point to figure out where the control issues are coming from. The fact is all our life people will tell us what to do. That doesn’t stop into adulthood. There needs to be a non-aggressive outlet to channel that emotion into.
While not directly dealing with the emotions, a physical outlet can certainly help. Enroll your teen in a martial arts class. There she will have an opportunity to spar in a controlled environment. She can also learn respect and discipline.
A Tae Kwon Do class may not solve all your teen’s problems, but it is a step in helping him deal with his aggression. Just remember if you keep doing what you have been doing, you will keep getting what you have been getting.
