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"Make Me Feel Important"
by Jamie Jefferson
"Everyone has an invisible sign hanging from their neck saying, 'Make me
feel important.' Never forget this message when working with people."
Mary Kay Ash
If practiced, this could be one of the most life-changing pieces of
advice. In any relationship, whether it's a spouse, child, client,
colleague, or casual acquaintance, the best way to make a lasting
impression is to take the time to make others feel genuinely valued.
Here are four tips to help you make others feel more important.
1. Greet everyone you meet with enthusiasm. Have you ever called someone
on the telephone -- or met them somewhere -- and they greeted you with
such energy and enthusiasm that you felt they must truly adore you? A
greeting of ardent and genuine enthusiasm sets the tone for your entire
encounter. It's such a simple skill (the hardest part is remembering to
do it) but if you can remember, it will enliven all of your
relationships. This skill can be particularly life-changing when
practiced with your children. A simple show of enthusiasm and
appreciation when a child walks in the room can have a miraculous effect
on the relationship.
2. Slow down. Take the time in conversation to really listen. While
someone is talking, focus on taking in what he or she is saying in
words, tone, and body language instead of thinking about what you are
going to say next. Relax and listen before responding. As you practice
this form of deep listening, work on identifying the other person's
needs. Put your own needs aside during the conversation and focus on
determining what they might need today. Imagine that each encounter is
like a brief interlude in what may otherwise be a hectic day. Strive to
slow down and truly savor the connection you can make with another
person, even in a casual conversation.
3. Work on remembering the details of past conversations and encounters.
Ask about the things they confided to you. How did her business
presentation go? How is his ailing grandmother? It's often helpful to
make little notes to remind you to ask about something or someone the
next time you meet. This simple skill shows people that they are
important to you.
4. Appreciate the small things that people do for you and never pass up
an opportunity to say thank you. It doesn't have to be anything
fancy...a few kind words or even a simple note is plenty. Find simple
and small ways to show appreciation and caring to those you love. Maybe
it's bringing home takeout when your spouse has been home all day with a
sick child. Maybe it's making a quick phone call to your elderly
neighbor just to say hi. As you go through your day, be thinking of how
you can take a step toward recognition and appreciation.
When you make the people around you feel important, you create a climate
of trust and mutual appreciation, which can change your life in ways
large and small. Try it today.
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