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Words of Wisdom from the Refrigerator Door
by
T.W. Winslow
"To dare every day to be irreverent and bold. To dare to preserve the
randomness of mind which in children produces strange and wonderful new
thoughts and forms. To continually scramble the familiar and bring the
old into new juxtaposition." - Gordon Webber
Every so often, something comes along that prompts me to evaluate myself
and my life - something which helps open my eyes to some of life's
simple truths, and, in doing so, provides me with direction and
inspiration. Many times these come quite unexpectedly and from
surprising sources.
One such something came just the other day. Alex, our seven-year-old
daughter, brought home an assignment she had completed at school. The
assignment entailed picking someone she loved and writing down some of
the reasons for her affection. Alex's paper was titled, "My Mom is the
World's greatest Mom because . . . "
If before reading her paper I was asked what reasons Alex would give for
why she thought her Mom was the World's Greatest, I would have guessed
she'd said things like: she buys me toys; she takes me to McDonalds; she
makes dinner; she takes me ice-skating, etc. Of course, these things did
appear on her list, but what surprised me were the other things she
mentioned.
"My Mom is the World's Greatest Mom because: She takes care of our
family. She listens to what I have to say. Sometimes I tell her a secret
and she keeps it. She plays with me. She loves me. . . ."
In these few short sentences, I discovered what was most important to my
daughter. Not the trips to the local burger joint or the new bicycle.
Not the expensive ice-skates or the increase in her allowance. Not even
the nice home she lives in. No, the things that matter most to her are
the same things that matter most to us all.
We all want to feel safe, secure and protected. We all want to be heard,
to have our voice count. We all want respect, to be treated honesty,
fairly. We all want to be valued, to know others want to spend time with
us. And most important, we all want to be cared for, to know we matter,
and to feel loved.
As a parent, my daughter's words will remain with me forever. They will
serve to remind me of what my daughter truly needs, rather than what I
think I need to provide for her. Her words will also help me to remember
that what she holds most precious are basically the same for us all.
Perhaps this will enable me to be a better father, a better husband, a
better friend, a better man.
As for my daughter's paper, it now hangs proudly in the Winslow Hall of
Fame (i.e.: it's stuck to the refrigerator door) - a testament to the
love between mother and daughter. As for what I think of Alex's subject
matter, I couldn't agree more - her mom is the World's greatest! So what
part do I as the father play in all of this? Theodore Hesburgh may have
said it best; "The most important thing a father can do for his children
is to love their mother." Well, that's one part I'm most happy to play.
© 2001 T.W. Winslow
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