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Giving Our Children What They Need
by
T.W. Winslow
As parents we all share one thing in common - we want to give our
children every advantage possible. We all want better for our children
than what we had. This is a wonderful ideal, but one which can cause
significant turmoil and guilt for the parent, and perhaps unnecessarily
so. We might do well to think back to our own childhoods and reflect
upon what we consider to have been meaningful to us as children.
As parents we owe our children the basic necessities of life - food,
shelter, clothing, education, and, of course, love. You'll not
find in that list of necessities such items as expensive video games,
the newest CD by the hip band of the time, designer jeans, pagers or
automobiles.
Recently my seven-year-old daughter wanted a Twister game to play at a
slumber party she was having for her birthday. Everyone knows this game
- a piece of thin plastic with large colored dots, and a cardboard color
wheel with a plastic arrow which spins around when flipped with the
finger. I would guess the maker of this game has a total of about $1.19
invested - including the box. So you can imagine my surprise when I
learned the retail price was $20. Twenty dollars? Two things happened -
my daughter borrowed a Twister game from a friend and had a wonderful
party, and second; we still don't have a Twister game in our closet.
Parents need to remember it's okay to say NO, and we shouldn't beat
ourselves up over it. Sure, I could well afford the $20 for the Twister
game. But buying an over-priced game that would be played once then
banished to the closet, already over-stuffed with must-have items from
the past, just didn't seem reasonable or necessary. This is pretty minor
when you consider what will be on our children's Christmas lists this
year - video games at forty dollars a pop, CD's, stereos, toys of all
varieties (all taking at least a king's ransom in batteries to operate),
and the list goes on and on.
What did you have on your Christmas list as a kid? A bat and ball? A few
Matchbox cars? A new dress? I would venture to guess there was nothing
on our lists that would have cost much more than a few dollars. With the
technology of today, the cost of giving our children the things they
want has increased dramatically, and we as parents would do well to
remember that fact.
When I think back to my own childhood, I can only remember a couple of
the presents I received. I remember my first three-speed bike complete
with sissy-bar and a way cool banana seat (believe me, it was cool at
the time), and a there are a few other items, but for the most part, I
don't recall the vast majority of material possessions I had or was
given as a child.
Perhaps breaking our backs and bank accounts trying to provide better
for our children than what we had when we were kids isn't the answer.
What our children need most, and what they'll remember when they are
grown, isn't found on the shelf of any store. It comes from within -
giving of ourselves, our time, our attention and love.
What I remember from my childhood isn't the THINGS, but rather the
TIMES. I remember the trips we took as a family, the times I spent alone
with my Dad - hunting or just washing the car. I remember the countless
times Mom came to my rescue and the occasional secret we shared. I
remember the first money I earned on my own and exactly what I spent it
on. I remember who came to watch my games and who didn't. I remember
listening to my Dad tell stories of his youth. I remember Mom patching
me up when I got hurt. I remember when I felt loved, I remember who
saved the day, and I remember feeling safe. But I don't remember what
ever happened to my three-speed bike, nor do I care.
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