Dating Your Spouse

by T.W. Winslow

After being with my wife Diane for the better part of twenty years, I was  pretty comfortable in thinking there wasn't anything about her which I didn't  already know. I understand now what an arrogant attitude that was, and how  that very way of thinking has impeded our growth as a couple and diminished some of the fulfillment each of us derives from our relationship. 

This past weekend, Diane and I found ourselves with an open Saturday evening. We decided to take advantage of it by going out on a date together. I call it a date because we wanted to make it something fun and different – reminiscent of when our relationship was new. So we went to dinner at a place neither of us had ever been, and rather than letting our conversation be dominated by the usual topics of work and children, we concentrated on just the two of us. 

For the first time in a long time, we really talked – completely focusing on each other like two people on their first date. We shared some of our deepest thoughts, feelings – even a fantasy or two, and in doing so learned something about ourselves and, more importantly, each other. I was absolutely wrong in thinking I knew all there was to know about my wife. I didn't – not even close.
 
What a wonderful thing it is to experience the person you've been with for nearly twenty years again for the very first time. I guess I lost sight of the fact that even though we're married and spend each day together, we continue to grow and evolve as individuals. 

Connecting with my wife in this way awakened a spirit of excitement and intimacy in our relationship. It was almost like we had gone back in time and were again just dating. A time when everything about the other person was new and interesting. A time when a quiet whisper sent chills down the spine. A time when every kiss was soft and passionate. A time when the most important thing in the world was the other person, and when together nothing else existed. 

Diane and I may no longer be just two young kids in love, but is there any reason why we can't act like it? We may be married and have children, but does this mean we can't still date each other? 

I once heard it said, commitment isn't something we do once, but rather something which we do over and over again. What better way to show our love and to recommit ourselves to our spouses than to continue to date them? 

As you think about that, I'll leave you with one more thought... the best thing about dating the person you're married to is the evening doesn't end with a kiss at the door! 

Passing Thoughts is a syndicated weekly column.