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Toddler Time into the Terrific Twos:
Nine Tips for Maintaining Your Sanity
by Joanne Baum, PhD
The Parenting Maven
www.respectfulparenting.com
You no longer are operating in that sleep deprived state. You
rarely have spit up on your clothes. You’ve got the diaper thing down
pat, and now your child is beginning to voice his or her concerns,
desires, needs, and wants with actual words, sometimes more forcefully
than others. You have patience, but it only goes so far, and
you’re occasionally wishing there was a button to push and mum your
child for a few minutes of quiet time ….Down time? Do you remember that?
When you could sit on the deck and read for a few hours without
interruption… where going on a date with your spouse was not a major
financial investment… when babysitters were not even on your radar
screen… when skiing was something you did spontaneously…and when this
wonderful small human being was not even in your life and you saw
parenting as an adventure you were going to embark on as a lovely image
in slow motion with a pink haze filter of love looking so alluring.
Now your life is more of a fast paced jumble with you at the center
playing juggler with too few arms and hands….Who knew? Not to
worry – all new parents are in the same position, loving most of it and
wondering, at times, how long is 18 years or what did I get myself
into….
Nine Tips for the Juggler Parent of a Toddler or Terrific Two
Year Old
1. Remember to slow down, watch your child carefully,
and be in awe of and in awe with your child, all he is learning and all
she is experiencing. Let your child re-introduce you to the world
of child time, filled with wonder and awe.
2. Respect your child’s individuality. Watch how your
child copes. Marvel at his ingenuity, enjoy her creativity.
See how your child manipulates through a day. It’s all still new
and challenging to you and your child.
3. Appreciate your child’s moods. Appreciate your
child’s efforts to interact with the world around him. Understand your
child’s challenges and frustrations, and avoid some of them.
4. Watch for your child’s signals that he is hungry,
lonely, tired, needs to be changed, or frustrated and try to avoid those
times by anticipating them in advance and circumventing them with fewer
errands, healthy snacks, respecting nap time as necessary for your child
to rejuvenate herself.
5. Avoid “stimulation overload,” which translates into
doing too much or being exposed to too much visual and/or auditory
stimulation, so your child has to let out the extra stimuli in the form
of a tantrum, screaming or other behaviors that are telling you you’ve
pushed your child too much and he or she needs a quiet break.
6. Incorporate time outs into your family routine. You
can all take them when you’re too emotional to react kindly or gently.
Go sit someplace, figure out what’s bothering you, and how you want to
handle it differently. Then exit out, go back to your family, and
share what you’ve figured out with them. You’ll be able to enjoy each
other again. Anyone can ask anyone else to please take a time out so you
can have a pleasant time together. It’s not punishment, it’s meant to be
a time you can cool out/calm down, by yourself, and come back with a
different, lighter attitude.
7. Toddlers and two year olds are incredibly curious small human
beings. Their brains are firing off connections at an incredible
rate. They are led by their curiosity – don’t squelch it, it’s the
way they learn. Encourage your child’s explorations in safe
ways. Marvel at the way your child’s mind works.
8. Focus on your child. Answer all her inquiries and
all his questions completely so you can share your knowledge and
insights about the world with your child.
9. Respectfully parent your child and become an awe-full parent
– filled with awe and understanding. Respect involves
listening to, considering, liking, enjoying and being in a mutual,
interactive relationship with your child.
About
the Author:
Dr. Joanne Baum is a therapist, speaker, author, mediator, and
columnist. With more than thirty years of clinical experience Dr.
Baum specializes in issues faced by couples, parents, families, and
individuals. Joanne does parent coaching in person, via phone or
e-mail. Dr. Baum also works as a divorce coach, child specialist,
and Child and Family Investigator for divorcing families. Joanne is a
Licensed Clinical Social Worker, a Board Certified Diplomat in Clinical
Social Work, and a Certified Alcoholism Counselor, Level III. Dr.
Baum has authored four books including her recent book,
Got the Baby…Where’s the Manual? She has a private practice in
Evergreen, Colorado. For more information visit
www.respectfulparenting.com or call 303-670-3948.
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