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Five Principles for Spiritual Parenting
by Mimi Doe
(c) 2000 Mimi Doe
All rights in all media reserved
We know more about nutrition than past generations. We've identified
learning disorders and new educational techniques. We give our children
every advantage we can afford, and some we cannot afford. We organize,
direct, enroll, coach, and transport our children to and from lessons,
games, practices, social events, doctor's appointments and schools.
We are trying to be good parents and give our children all they need to
develop into well- rounded and successful adults. We may, however, be
missing the very core of our child's being, his spirituality.
Spirituality is the base from which grows self-esteem, values, morals,
and a sense of belonging. It is what gives life direction and meaning. I
believe we have entered into a sacred contract when we bring children
into the world. A contract that says we are willing to help these
children understand and wisely use their spiritual powers expressive of
a greater Divine energy.
All children begin life with an innate sense of wonder about their
world. They are naturally intuitive and open. We, as parents, can foster
this precious state of being with our words, actions, and attentiveness.
Where there is wonder there is spirituality. The ordinary becomes the
incredible when we live life as a prayer, a soulful journey, when we
endow the daily routine with magic. When we stop the chaos of daily life
and celebrate the small moments we provide our children the joy of the
moment, we affirm and acknowledge their true state of being.
"How, you ask?" "I'm so busy now, where am I possibly going to get the
time to nurture my child's soul?" I assure you, as a mother of two young
children who also strives to put my voice and work out into the world,
that it is not only possible but can easily work in any kind of family
in any kind of home.
Here are a few ideas to get you started and 5 of my 10 PRINCIPALS FOR
SPIRITUAL PARENTING.
1. Listen to Your Child!
Children have wisdom and they are naturally in touch with their
intuition. If we listen and honor their instincts they will learn to do
so as well. When a child says, "It just doesn't feel right Mama," it's
time to go deeper and find out why.
Not only does listening help children to validate their own deepest
intuition it also is a joyful, insightful and often inspirational time
for the adult. I have learned so much from kids. In my book DRAWING
ANGELS NEAR, Children Tell of Angels in Words and Pictures children have
touched thousands of readers with quotes such as "A long time ago when I
was born, I thought of all the things I had made before. It was that
time that I knew the angels." (Age 4) Set aside time to listen to your
child. In the evenings before bed, a walk in the park, Saturday morning
breakfast, or a special date for just the two of you. Listen! Don't do
all the talking. Hear what he/she is saying and you'll be amazed at the
things that come up.
2. Add Magic to the Ordinary!
Starting today, add a little magic to your daily life with your
children. Don't just wash the dishes at the sink - look for the fairies
in the bubbles. Eat breakfast for dinner. Music is a great way to touch
the spirit. Try different kinds with your child. Soon, he will know what
frees his soul. Drop peppermint oil on the light bulbs and sprinkle
scented powder between his/her sheets at night. Put a flower on the
breakfast plate. If there isn't one growing near by make one out of
tissue paper or draw one on a napkin. Use your imagination and remain
open for inspiration.
Young children see the magic naturally in their lives. Let's not
belittle their ecstasy but join in it. Look at the ladybug that is
flying around your kitchen - count her dots - write a poem about where
she is going. This makes magic. Creating magic out of the ordinary
builds celebration, rituals and loving, lasting memories that nourish
the souls of everyone involved.
3. Create a Flexible Structure!
Kids of all ages need order. They need to know what to count on in an
unpredictable world. Depending on your personality and your life
situation, your routine and structure may vary. If you take a long hard
look at a typical weekday in the life of your family, jotting down what
the pattern is, you can then judge whether you need to create MORE order
or perhaps loosen up a bit. One seven-year-old recently told me, "I feel
like I'm in prison. Everyone tells me what to do. My mommy teacher, even
the bus driver tells me where to sit. Then I go to Sunday school and I
have to glue the picture just like the teacher's. I feel just like I'm
in prison."
The trick is to be structured without being rigid and to be secure while
being spontaneous. Within family rules flexibility can exist for the
child's expression of individuality and spirituality. It is safe when
boundaries and expectations are clear.
Have fun adding flexibility. If you are stumped for ideas just ask your
kids!
4. Be a Good Mirror for Your Child.
You are a mirror for your child and will show by example how
spirituality and daily life merge. Everything you do or say, every habit
you have, your tone of voice, your expressions, all teach your child
what the world is and how he fits into it. What he sees in you is a
mirror of the bigger world. What he sees in you is a mirror of who he
is.
If your child sees a parent who has a loving comfortable relationship
with spirit, chances are he/she will too. If you share your feelings
about God/Goddess/All That Is/The Higher Power and demonstrate a faith
and a trust in that power your child will model this behavior. If you
want a child who is spirit-filled and comfortable with his connection to
The Higher Power show him/her how you do it. Is meditation something
that works for you? Children as young as three enjoy sitting for a few
minutes and meditating. Altars are individual shrines that children can
create. Prayer is a habit that a child will integrate as part of his day
if you demonstrate your prayerful times and methods. For your daughters,
check out Celia Straus' fantastic book, Prayers on My Pillow.
5. Make Each Day a New Beginning.
We can start fresh each day as the parent we want to be. So you lost
your temper, fed the kids fast food again, did nothing to nurture your
own soul much less theirs, had no structure at all, and dismissed your
daughter as she tried to share her dream with you. You can start over
right now. Starting over each day, with the assurance that we are not in
this alone, is spirit in action. Forgiveness and faith, for our children
and for ourselves, is knowing that spirit moves and breathes and is our
life force.
So enjoy your precious children. Hold them close and let their warmth
soothe your soul. They are our teachers and are filled with a natural
wisdom. They see things we have long forgotten. Let's help them hang on
to their connection with spirit so as adults they won't have to search
to find their soul.
Sign up for Mimi Doe's free bi-weekly newsletter at:
http://www.SpiritualParenting.com
~*~Who Is Mimi Doe?~*~
Mimi Doe, M.Ed., is the author of
10
Principles for Spiritual Parenting: Nurturing Your Child's Soul
which won the 1998 Parents' Choice Seal of Approval and was a finalist
in the Books for a Better Life Award. Ladies Home Journal called Mimi "a
parenting guru" and her work has been covered in publications such as
Child, Parenting, McCalls, Family Circle, Publisher's Weekly and USA
Today. She has appeared on talk radio and television programs including
Oprah. Mimi is the co-author of Drawing Angels Near: Children Tell of
Angels in Words and Pictures and holds a master's degree in education
from Harvard. Mimi's workshops and seminars have changed the way
thousands of parents interact with the children in their lives. Her
popular on-line newsletter, Spiritual Parenting Thought for the Week has
over 30,000 subscribers from around the world and she is a parenting
contributor to Beliefnet.com. Mimi's new book, Busy but Balanced:
Practical and Inspirational Ways to Create a Calmer, Closer Family (St.
Martins Press) will be available in October, 2001.
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