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Special Thanks This Thanksgiving
by Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller
Millions
of parents will pause this Thanksgiving to do what the day was
originally created for--- give thanks for the many blessings that exist
in their lives. Turkey, pumpkin pie, and the presence of loved ones will
receive their fair share of gratitude during this annual ritual of
appreciation. The abundance provided by the universe, opportunities for
meaningful work, and the laughter of children will be acknowledged with
gratitude by loving parents as they thank the creator for their
blessings. Indeed, this traditional day calls for a traditional
thank-you.
But what if your appreciation this Thanksgiving took on a new look? What
if the blessings you count this year included situations that aren’t
usually regarded as helpful, useful or valuable? Consider the
following.
Why not be thankful that your child is two years behind grade
level in his reading ability? This struggling reader is giving
you the opportunity to read to him regularly at night. This evening
ritual will help build connectedness between you and your child while at
the same time modeling your love for the printed word. This opportunity
is an incredible blessing. Appreciate it.
Why not be thankful that your daughter’s soccer team lost their
last game? It is important that your children have experiences
of both winning and losing. By losing, children have the opportunity to
learn to handle defeat and bounce back next time. With your help, they
can learn that winning or losing is not the measure of who and what they
are as human beings. Appreciate the opportunity the loss brings and be
grateful for it.
Why not be thankful that your teenager received a speeding
ticked for going 45 mph in a 25 mph speed zone? Getting a
ticket is not a bad thing. Not if your teen learns from it and slows her
driving for the next year. If she takes personal responsibility, pays
the ticket, and is more cautious about her driving, the ticket may well
save her life in the future. Bless the ticket and give thanks for its
blessings.
Why not be thankful that your 8-year-old shoplifted in the
grocery store? This is the perfect time to teach your child
about shoplifting. Better now than when he helps himself to someone
else’s car when he is 18. Teach him how to make amends. Teach him what
to say as he returns the candy bars to the storeowner. Help him learn to
articulate what he learned and what he intends to do differently next
time. Be grateful for the opportunity.
Why not be thankful that your youngsters track mud and sand into
the garage and house? The next time you stand in the garage
furiously sweeping sand and wishing that your children were better
behaved, quietly remind yourself that one day you’ll wish you had sand
to sweep out of the garage. Love the mud. Love the sand. Be grateful for
the signs of the presence of children in your life.
Why not be thankful for sibling rivalry? “He got more
than I did” and “It isn’t fair” are common childhood refrains. Bless
these opportunities to help your children learn how to get along with
each other. Sibling rivalry is a call for help, a signal that your
children need lessons on how to interact positively with each other.
Bless their unskillful way of asking for help. Be grateful that you
recognize it and help them grow in working and playing cooperatively.
Why not be thankful that you got to stay home with a sick child
last week? You didn’t have to stay home. You got to stay home.
You didn’t have to take him to the doctor. You got to take him to the
doctor. You got to show him you care enough to drive all over town to
the doctors, the pharmacists and back home again. You got to be with
your boy while he was sick. Chalk it up as a blessing. Celebrate it this
Thanksgiving.
Why not give thanks that your child is spilling milk, talking
with his mouth full, wiping cranberry sauce on his new pants, refusing
to eat his vegetables, and interrupting his grandmother at the dinner
table this day? It means you have more work to do as a parent.
This is a blessing. You are still needed to help your child learn to
pour milk more carefully, improve his table manners, learn to eat
nutritiously, and show respect for elders. Give thanks for these
opportunities.
This Thanksgiving remember that parenting is a sacred role that you are
being called to perform. Give thanks that you have been called. Give
thanks that you are willing to step forward and accept that call.
Celebrate yourself and your contribution to healing the planet by
helping your children evolve into the people they were meant to be. You
are a blessing to the world. Give thanks that you are up to the task.
Happy Thanksgiving.
About the Authors:
Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller are the authors of The Only Three
Discipline Strategies You Will Ever Need: Essential Tools for Busy
Parents and The 10 Commitments: Parenting with Purpose.
They are two of the world's foremost authorities on raising responsible,
caring, confident children. They publish a free monthly e-zine for
parents. To sign up visit their web sites at
www.chickmoorman.com and
www.thomashaller.com.
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