Spiritual Parenting Tips
Seeing the Souls of Your Children
by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
Your toddler is having her second tantrum of the day while your four
year old son is racing around the house with the neighbor's child. You
feel completely stressed out and are questioning your decision to have
these kids, with a third on the way! What were you thinking?
At times like this you might want to remember who your children really
are. You might want to remember that your children are spiritual beings
with eternal souls, who courageously came here to evolve their souls in
love through the earthly experience. You might want to remember that
they are wonderful, loving, creative beings who are learning how to
operate on the planet in their little bodies. You might want to remember
that they are souls that need your love as much as they need oxygen,
food, and water. You might want to remember that, in their souls, they
are peaceful beings, and that they may respond to being seen as peaceful
beings even in the midst of chaos.
Your response to your children's difficult behavior has much to do with
shaping your own parenting experience as well as shaping their
characters. When you see yourself as having the privilege of shepherding
these precious souls into adulthood, rather than being burdened with the
task of raising these children, your own experience of parenthood will
be greatly enhanced. When you connect with the beautiful essence of
their spirits, even in the midst of having to handle the tantrum, you
teach them to value their own beauty. When you stay conscious of the
love and peacefulness within your own soul, you role-model for them who
they really are.
You have the choice each moment to see your children through spiritual
eyes of love or through earthly eyes of fear and control. The moment
your intention is to control them, you are likely to respond to their
tantrums, demands, and resistance with anger, exasperation, frustration,
compliance or criticism. When your intention is to be loving to yourself
and to them, you will find loving ways of limiting their unacceptable
behavior. Asking yourself, "What is the loving action toward myself and
my children in this moment?" will bring ideas into your mind of healthy
ways of handling difficult behavior. We want to limit unacceptable
behavior without limiting the aliveness and joy of our children.
For example, if your intention is to have control over your daughter
while she's having a tantrum, your own energy will be harsh, angry, and
judgmental. You might yell at her to stop, or you might walk away in
anger and frustration. In either case, you are not being a role-model
for the behavior you want. However, if you hold in your heart the wonder
and peacefulness of your daughter's soul, you might pick her up and hold
her tight until she stops her tantrum, limiting her behavior while
giving her love, or you might walk away from the tantrum with the loving
energy of taking care of yourself rather than punishing her. Your
intention to be loving or controlling not only determines how you end up
feeling, but educates your child as well. Your controlling behavior
teaches your child to keep finding new ways to control, while behavior
that is loving to yourself and your child teaches your child about
loving herself and loving you. Staying connected with your own love and
peacefulness helps you to stay connected with the love and peacefulness
of your child's soul, and becomes a mirror to help your child know who
he or she really is – a wonderful, beautiful, loving and peaceful child
of God.
(C) Copyright 2003 by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
About the Author:
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight
books, including Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?, Do I Have
To Give Up Me To Be Loved By My Kids?,
Healing Your Aloneness, Inner Bonding, and Do I Have To Give Up Me
To Be Loved By God? Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course:
http://www.innerbonding.com
