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Overscheduled Children
© 2004 by Ray Pica
Moving & Learning
Like the childhood obesity problem, the subject of “superkids” gets
plenty of press these days. Time devoted the better part of an issue to
it. Newsweek featured an article titled “Busy Around the Clock.”
Articles with titles like “Whatever Happened to Play?” “Pushing Children
Too Hard,” and “Are You Over-Scheduling Your kids?” show up in print
media and on the Internet. Books with titles like Hyper-Parenting: Are
Your Hurting Your Child by Trying Too Hard? are appearing on
bookshelves.
What are superkids? Some call them overscheduled; others refer to them
as pushed or hurried. Some speak of the practice of creating superkids
as scheduled hyperactivity. Child development specialist David Elkind
writes: “Parents are under more pressure than ever to overschedule their
children and have them engage in organized sports and other activities
that may be age-inappropriate.” Most agree the practice is today’s
status symbol among families. In short, a superkid is a child pressured
by parents and by society in general to do too much too soon. It’s a
phenomenon in our society in an escalating trend — with no end in sight.
It’s a frightening thought.
Writing in the magazine Child Care Information Exchange, Johann
Christoph Arnold says: “The pressure to excel is undermining childhood
as never before.” He also asks: “Why are we so keen to mold [children]
into successful adults, instead of treasuring their genuineness and
carefree innocence?”
We have the best intentions, of course. We want our children to be
happy; we equate happiness with success. And we fervently believe that
success won’t come unless we give our children a head start — a jump on
the competition as it were.
But at what cost will all of this “success” come? If children don’t
learn to play as children, they aren’t likely to discover its value as
adults. And, oh, what a dreary, deadening existence daily life will
become. Think about the following questions, really pondering each for a
moment:
* If children begin living like adults in childhood, what will there be
left to look forward to?
* What’s to ensure they won’t be burned out from all the pushing and
pressure before they’ve even reached puberty?
* If we’ve caused them to miss the magic of childhood, how will they
ever find the magic necessary to cope with the trials and tribulations
of adulthood?
* What will become of the childlike nature adults call on when they need
reminding of the delight found in simple things — when they need to
bring out the playfulness that makes life worth living?
* What joy will our children find as adults if striving to “succeed”
becomes life’s sole purpose?
Childhood is not a dress rehearsal for adulthood! It is a separate,
unique, and very special phase of life. And we’re essentially wiping it
out of existence in an effort to be sure our children get ahead. But
when did we decide that life was one long race? When, exactly, did life
become a competition?
Young children are not internally motivated to succeed; their only
motivation comes from the value we place on success. And they don't want
to let us down. As a result, stress is often a principal factor in the
life of a superkid. Of course, into every life a little stress must
fall. But when it becomes more than a person is capable of handling, it
becomes unhealthy. Studies have shown that the brains of stressed
preschoolers now look remarkably like the brains of stressed adults,
which have excessive levels of adrenaline and cortisol, the chemicals
responsible for the body’s fight-or-flight reaction. Young children, who
don’t have the vocabulary or understanding to express what they’re
feeling, will often act out as a way of coping.
But there’s more than stress involved in pushing children onto the fast
track to success before they even understand the concept. For one thing,
children aren’t allowed to discover motivation on their own — and
motivation is often more important to success than talent. Pushed
children never have the opportunity to discover who they are. And they
never learn to be at ease with themselves when alone, with time on their
hands. Having experienced life “by the clock” — and almost constantly
surrounded by others — these kids have never learned the joy of
solitude, of having only oneself for company. Not only does this mean
they’re unable to practice self-reflection, but they’re also unable to
simply be.
Not long ago, in an attempt to help adults realize the folly of all work
and no play, a saying began appearing on bumper stickers and in e-mails.
It read: “No one ever said on his deathbed, ‘I wish I’d spent more time
at the office.’” Whether or not the saying had the desired effect
remains to be seen, as adults appear as determined as ever to fill up
their time with accomplishments. But someone had the right idea, and
evidently quite a few people agreed with the sentiment. Isn’t it now
time to consider the same sentiment as it relates to children? Is there
anyone who would say, at the conclusion of childhood, “I wish I’d had
less time to play”? Who, after all, wants to look back on life and
regret passing up that one and only opportunity to just be a kid?
About the author:
Rae Pica is a children’s movement specialist and the author of Your
Active Child: How to Boost Physical, Emotional, and Cognitive
Development through Age-Appropriate Activity (McGraw-Hill, 2003). Visit
Rae at
http://www.movingandlearning.com
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