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Holiday Stress Management: Four Tips for Moms
Decking the halls and spreading good cheer takes a lot of energy, and no one
knows that like a mom. Here are some holiday stress management tips to make sure
you enjoy every last fa-la-la.
1. Rise and SHINE.
Greet each day in the right frame of mind. Here's one technique to help you do
so. Inspired by Arnold Patent's "Ideal Day Exercise," this method is so
empowering, you may find yourself skipping past the coffeepot.
As you lie in bed, summon the physical feeling that accompanies unabashed,
unbridled joy. You know the feeling, though it's one you may have felt only a
few times in your life. It's a feeling that's impossible to put into words,
through I once heard it described as the urge to throw your shoes way, way up in
the air, and I think that's accurate. Seize that feeling. Experience that sense
of joy fizzing inside you. Keep hold of it until you feel as though you're ready
to pop. Then pop out of bed.
I follow this with a mantra or saying that I repeat, throughout the day, as a
reminder to return to my center of joyful energy. My favorites: "What we focus
on expands," "Joy to the world," and "This is the day that the Lord has made.
Let us rejoice and be glad in it." Recite a rousing quote, a line from a song,
an inspiring verse from your own religious faith, or make up your own saying.
2. Stay Centered.
An energetic and peaceful holiday season is possible only when you strive to
live with integrity the whole year through. Right now, ask yourself: What do you
value, above all else? What comes second? Third? How important is your
spirituality, your family, your time for yourself, your profession?
After some thought and reflection, rank your top priorities on a Post-it-Note
where you'll see it throughout the day (mine's on my computer monitor.)
Use your list when asked to make commitments and compromises. If the request
doesn't jibe with your list, you don't just have permission, you have an
obligation to say no.
This list of priorities may set the course for new holiday traditions, as well.
Perhaps you will donate toys, books, and food to charities. Perhaps you will
help serve dinner at a homeless shelter instead of indulging in a huge holiday
meal. Bringing joy to the world outside your own is one of the most energizing
things you can do. (Click
here for specific ways to help.)
For a moment or two, indulge the ghost of Christmas Past. What memories
immediately come forth that evoke a fond nostalgia? For me, it isn't the gifts
or the shopping or even the parties. It's rocking my infant, alone, by
candlelight, to "Silent Night." It's letting the 2-year-old crack the eggs for
the cookies, and seeing the pride on her floury face.
Decide what the holidays are to you. Then make a plan to weave more of those
activities into your holidays, and reduce the rest.
3. Deck the Halls with Light and Love.
Don't let commercialism spoil your fun.
Make the simple promise to yourself that, this year, you'll enjoy your holiday
shopping. Brainstorm ways you can make this happen.
For me, the mall is a giant energy drain. The look of worried resignation as a
shopper hands over her credit card tells me that she's shopping out of a sense
of obligation and not one of joy. And it sours my holiday spirit.
Instead, I carve out an afternoon all to myself. I put on an Andrea Bocelli CD,
sip Chai tea from a giant mug, and curl up with a fleece blanket to surf the
Internet and page through catalogs. That's how I find just the right something
for everyone on my very short list. When it ceases to be fun, I stop.
I so enjoy shopping this way that, throughout the year, I bookmark sites that
offer just the right items. Sites such as GAIAM, which couples a commitment to
sustainable commerce, the environment, and personal health with natural products
for relaxation and self-care.
Sites such as SERRV
International/a>, , a nonprofit organization that helps to improve conditions for
artisans in developing countries through free trade. Here, you can purchase
everything from home furnishings to jewelry made in Africa, Asia, the Middle
East, and Latin America. (SERRV even allows you to purchase coffee directly from
the growers. The prices are affordable and you'll be drinking in the good karma
every morning.)
If you find the materialism of the season draining your energy, commit to making
an attitude shift. If you want things to be different this year, only you can
make it so.
Take the lead for your family, and live in such a way that you prove less stuff
really does equal more fun.
Maybe you'll take the money you usually spend on one-too-many toys and enjoy,
instead, a weekend family getaway. Maybe you'll make homemade goodies, such as
picture frames, home movies, or goodie baskets, which the whole family helps to
create.
Maybe you'll bag the traditional gift-giving and start a new tradition. In our
family, it goes like this: Each guest brings a wrapped gift of roughly the same
dollar value.
We sit in a circle and each person, in turn, has the option of taking a gift
that's already been opened or opening a new one. It's fun. It's festive. It gets
everyone moving and talking, and it switches the focus to the relationships and
the event…not the gifts.
One of the best ways to avoid commercialism is to simply turn off the TV and its
advertisements for the newest plastic plaything. Return instead to the
educational standbys…books, blocks, water, sand, and time with mom and dad.
Momscape humor columnist Linda Sharp once asked a group of kids to name one
thing they'd like from their parents that wouldn't cost a dime. The answers:
"Listen to me, please," "Teach me to cook," "Stop being so busy," "Hug me more,"
"Read to me…"
Hard to wrap, but easy to give.
4. Bring Tidings of Comfort and Joy...to Yourself.
This year, be realistic with your time and money. Start early, plan well, and
take care of yourself.
Simplify as much as possible. Eat out. Use paper plates. If a holiday tradition
is old and tired, reinvigorate it or start a new tradition of staying at home.
Plan ahead. To help, chances are, your favorite food website has a checklist for
big holiday events. Click here to see one from a href="http://www.foodstyles.com/Instructions/Thanksgiving%20Timetable%20and%20Checklist.htm">
FoodStyles.com
Replenish your natural energy by taking care of your body.
Eat right. Exercise (in the crisp outdoors once in a while).
Drink water. Sleep.
Energize your image. Give yourself an early holiday gift or a great haircut, a
brow shaping, a pedicure with bright red polish, or a free makeover at your
favorite cosmetics counter and a purchase of the most vibrant lipstick shade
you'll actually wear.
Keep a "joy journal" this holiday season, in which you record the funny things
your kids say, joyful times you share, your favorite things to do with your
kids, your husband, and by yourself, and all the things for which you are
grateful. Use your Joy Journal as a reminder of the facets of your life-and this
holiday season-that are really important.
Deck the halls with items of comfort and joy. Display photographs from past
holiday celebrations. Keep in full view reminders that you take care of
yourself…fresh flowers, indulgent hand crème, inspiring music, and energizing
scents, such as citrus or peppermint.
De-clutter. Here's an effective technique, created by the
Flylady, who is committed to helping us all
simplify and de-clutter. It's called the 27 Fling Boogie: Go through your home
with a give-away box in hand and toss 27 items. (The Flylady also offers a
creative and extensive list of clutter-free holiday gift ideas here:
http://www.flylady.net/pages/FlyFocus1.asp)
Keep the romance alive. We all know about the prescription for a weekly date
night. We also know how hard it is to make that a reality. Meanwhile, many
married couples report that the simple act of kissing is the first part of
intimacy to disappear. Schedule a 15-minute kissing date at least once a week,
and marvel at its power to reinvigorate your relationship.
SpSpend the season with your most energetic friends. Instead of letting the
Scrooges in your life yank you down, send them something sweet from a Secret
Santa. A little anonymous enchantment may be just what they need.
As you commit to keeping your spirit centered this holiday season, engage your
kids in the holiday stress management process.r />
Recognize your children as the gifts they are. The gift to you as a mother, and
your gift to the world. Strive to greet each day as though it were Christmas and
await, with reverence, the surprises that your family will help you uncover.
Today and every day.
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