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Family Memories: Simple Secrets That Create Happy Family Memories
©Dr. Michele Borba
Did you know that research has found that doing simple rituals enhances
our feelings of togetherness and family belonging by almost 20 percent?
What’s more, those home traditions and customs also increase our kids’
social skills and development.
Here are nine simple, no-cost secrets moms are using to create happy
memories.
1. Nighttime rituals: Read a nighttime story; remind
each other of the best part of the day; give hugs and kiss goodnight.
With older kids reconvene in the kitchen for a nighttime snack around
9:30. Then everyone gets his goodnight send-off: a kiss, a backrub, and
affirm their love for one another and it’s off to bed (or in some cases,
back to homework).
2. Special greetings and ways to say “I love you”: Rub
noses for an “Eskimo kiss”; create your own unique family funny hugs.
3. Celebration of successes: Hang a flag on the front
door when something special has happened to a family member; use a
“fancy” plate at the table when a family member has done something to
deserve recognition.
4. Birthday memories: Each family member chooses his or
her favorite birthday dinner menu, cake, or outing. Some families even
hang the family member’s shirt on a flagpole or broomstick stuck in the
front lawn to let the world (or at least the neighborhood) know it’s
that person’s special day.
5. Musical memories: Choose special songs to be piped
through the household for family events; for a birthday, have your whole
family wake-up to the Beatles singing, “Today is your birthday…gonna
have a good time,” Bruce Springsteen’s can remind your family it’s the
Fourth of July by singing “Born in the USA”.
6. Sports and outdoors: Go fishing on Father’s Day; be
diehard Bluejay fans together; go berry-picking every spring; have relay
races and egg tosses at family picnics.
7. Volunteering and service projects: Bake an extra
turkey for Mrs. Jones at Thanksgiving; serve Christmas Eve dinner at the
homeless shelter or help out at another, less “popular” time of year.
Make a commitment to help a favorite charity as a family once a week or
month.
8. Enjoy each other’s company. Spread a rug or towel on
your living room floor and gather the troops, serve simple sandwiches,
finger food, and boxed drinks, put up some upbeat music and have an
indoor picnic. Who says you have to go anywhere to have a good time
together?
9. Family Game Night: Dust off the Chutes and Ladders,
Yahtzee, Monopoly, Candyland, or that old deck of cards. Older kids
might like Trouble, Uno, Kerplunk, Risk, or poker. Some families hold
Family Game Night once a week for thirty minutes to an hour. Have an
assortment and let a different family member choose what you play each
time.
When I surveyed hundreds of moms about what really matters in good
mothering, creating family rituals and traditions always came up in the
top of their lists. Why? Because they didn’t have to take much time or
money, and they create joy and laughter in the family and wonderful
memories that last a lifetime. Here are the steps to begin creating new
rituals in your home.
Four Steps to Creating Family Rituals and Increasing the
Laughter In Your Family
Step One: Begin by Making a List of New Traditions You’d Like to
Start in Your Home. Let your brain go wild and allow your only
rule to be “anything goes” at this stage. You might want to ask other
moms, and ask your kids for ideas. Also think back on your own family
traditions when you were growing
up.
Step Two. Choose One Idea You Want to Begin With. One
mom said she got into the habit of always putting her makeup on with her
four-year-old daughter next to her. Another mom makes a tradition of
taking her son out for hot cocoa after school every Wednesday. It really
doesn’t matter what the ritual is, as long as it’s one your family
enjoys doing together.
Step Three: Write Down the Tradition—Ink It. Put the
ritual in your Palm Pilot or include it on your weekly calendar. Or tell
your family. Saying and writing it adds commitment. (You’ll also have
someone to help remind you to do it). Research says the sooner you
begin, (suggestion: within twenty-four hours), the greater the
likelihood you’ll stick to it.
Step Four: Plan It, Do It! Celebrate success. And keep
at it. You’re on the road to creating family memories. Traditions are
sacred and must be consistently honored every night, week, month, or
once a year. This is the stuff that is meant to bond families and make
you closer.
Whatever ritual you choose to do, make it become a family habit.
Traditions are sacred and must be consistently honored every night,
week, month, or once a year. This is the stuff that is meant to bond
families and make you closer.
About the Author:
Michele Borba, Ed.D. is a mom of three, former teacher, and renowned
educational consultant who has presented workshops to one million
parents and teachers worldwide. She is also the award-winning author of
12 Simple Secrets Real Moms Know: Getting Back to Basics and Raising
Happy Kids, Parents Do Make a Difference, Don’t Give Me That Attitude!,
Building Moral Intelligence, No More Misbehavin’, and Nobody Likes Me,
Everybody Hates Me! (all Jossey-Bass). Dr. Borba is an advisory board
member for Parents, and a frequent guest on Today, American Morning, CNN
Headline News, MSNBC,The
Early Show, The View, and Fox & Friends. For more simple parenting
secrets tips like these visit
www.micheleborba.com or her daily blog, Borba’s Reality Check on her
website.
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