Choose Wisely

We women are nurturing, supportive, and kind. But we can also tear one another up.

I have seen it more than once, as I'm sure you have. Before I launched my career as a freelance writer, my days (working first in fashion modeling, then in broadcast news) were ripe with cattiness and competition, and I was catty and competitive right back.

I remember how one of my co-workers once completed a superb story for the 10 o'clock news. She got the scoop on every news outlet in town. The writing was brilliant, her on-camera delivery first-class.
Her friends had seen the story, and they called to tell her so. But their messages on her machine mentioned little of the news package she had produced. Instead, they wanted to let her know that the lipstick she had chosen to wear on-camera was all wrong for her.

Since I was--and always had been--so involved in these competitive fields, I assumed this was how the world operated.

Then I found a roommate who was different. Gossip and complaints were simply not part of her day. She was energetic, supportive, and kind.

That's when I started to notice that, when I was hanging out with her, I felt more energetic, supportive, and kind, too.

It's true. The company we keep both reflects--and helps determine--the kind of people we become.

If you want to have more energy, for example, spend time with energetic women. Spend time with positive women to be more positive. Admirable women to be more admirable. Competitive women to be more competitive. Angry women to be more angry.

But if you strive to be spiritually strong, supportive, empowering, intelligent, energetic, and positive, seek those characteristics in others. Help your friends develop more positive traits by living those positive traits yourself.

Meanwhile, know what kind of friends will help you nurture your soul, and set out to find some.

If you can't find them in your neighborhood, find them online. Moms are wonderfully welcoming, and online discussion lists abound.