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What To Do When Someone You Know Has Been Diagnosed With Breast Cancer
contributed by Breast
Cancer Action
A diagnosis of breast cancer is a very difficult thing. Women, and men, who hear
the words “you have breast cancer” can experience a myriad of emotions: fear,
anger, betrayal, powerlessness, resentment, loneliness. More than anything, s/he
needs support and encouragement. This is where you can make a difference.
If you are reading this fact sheet, you’re already ahead of the game. Your
friend is fortunate in that s/he has someone who cares enough to seek out
information to aid in this extremely difficult time. You can help your loved one
and here’s how:
LISTEN
More than anything, newly diagnosed patients need someone to listen. They need
to express their fears and they need to process mountains of information. If you
need to freak out — and you will —please don’t do it in front of a newly
diagnosed person. Talk to another friend instead.
DO
offer a shoulder to cry on. At the appropriate time, you might remind her that
many people survive diagnosis and many people live to a ripe old age.
DON’T
ever say what you would do in her situation. The fact is, you’re not in her
situation and you really don’t know what choices you would make. S/he will need
to talk and be heard. Every situation is different. There are many different
kinds of breast cancer and many different decisions to make.
DO
give advice only when asked. You might instead offer to do research on treatment
options and/or for more information on the disease.
DO
offer to accompany your friend to doctor appointments. Suggest taping doctor’s
discussions. Help prepare a list of questions for the doctor. Doctors give a lot
of information
during those first appointments.
DO
offer to drive your friend to and from treatments.
DO
organize friends/family to help with household needs such as, babysitting ,
housecleaning and food preparation. This will give your friend the personal time
she needs right now.
DO
get support for yourself when you need to. Do something nice for yourself.
DO
join BCA! Help us change the reality that one woman out of every eight will
develop breast cancer in her lifetime. Get involved! Join a task force! Everyone
can do something — besides worry — about this dreaded disease.
For more information, contact BCA at 55 New Montgomery, Ste. 323, San Francisco,
CA 94105 or call 415/243-9301 or toll free 877/2STOPBC. Or check out our website
at http://www.bcaction.org.
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