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Is Your Child Being Bullied? Tips for Parents
by
Derek Randel
www.stoppingschoolviolence.com
Article Summary: Derek Randel, author of Stopping School
Violence, highlights specific ways parents can help their children
deal with bullies.
Keith is a ten year-old student who has always liked school. That was
until recently and now he does not want to go to school each morning.
This of course is very frustrating for his parents. The reason Keith
dislikes school does not have anything to do with academics. Keith is
being bullied before school, at school, and on the school bus. Who can
blame him for not wanting to go into an environment where he does not
feel safe?
The basic definition of bullying is when someone keeps doing or saying
things to have power over another person. Bullying involves crossing
into one’s space without permission. Come on, isn’t bullying just
something that happens to all children and we’re just making a big fuss
over this? The children will get over it, right? Shouldn¹t we tell Keith
to grow up and handle it? Wrong. It is not ‘boys will be boys’ anymore.
Looking at the life long results to victims of bullying, adults
shouldn’t be ignoring it any longer.
Tips for parents:
1. Encourage your child to report any bullying incidents to you. This of
course means they feel comfortable coming to you and you’ll respond in a
loving and trusting manner.
2. Validate your child’s feelings. It is normal for your child to feel
hurt, sad, and angry.
3. Ask your child if and how they have tried to stop the bullying.
Asking questions is a wonderful way to have your child do the thinking.
See how many options he can come up with.
4. The absolute best way to solve a bullying situation is to empower
your child to solve it himself/herself, if possible.
Here are a few more suggestions for parents to consider
discussing with their child:
* Avoidance is often an excellent strategy.
* Play in a different place way from those bothering you.
* Stay near a supervisor on the playground, lunchroom, or locker room.
* Look to make new friends.
* Join social and sport activities outside of school.
* Have your child take self-defense classes.
* Let your child know it is okay to express their anger. There are
positive and negative ways to express anger, we want to teach and model
the positive ways.
* Stress the importance of body language.
* Teach your child and model using ‘I’ statements.
* Teach how your child can use humor. ‘Out-crazy’ them.
For parents:
* Talk with your child’s teacher. Make sure the teacher is aware of what
is going on with your child.
* Approach the school with the intent of working together; do not attack
the school's staff.
* Volunteer to help supervise activities at school.
* Do not ignore your child's reports. Ignoring them sends the wrong
message.
* Do not confront the bully or the bully's family.
* Teach self-respect.
* Give numerous positive comments to your child avoid labeling or
name-calling.
As the parents, adults, and school staff we need to stand up for what is
right. We must take our head out of the sand and stand up for the
children. Silence only benefit’s the bully.
About
the Author:
Derek Randel is a parent coach who speaks nationally on how to remove
the yelling from your home and how to protect your child/student from
bullying and school violence. Derek has been seen on many television
shows and is heard on radio shows around the country. He is the author
of
Stopping School Violence
and was nominated for a Disney
American Teacher Award. He also is a certified stepfamily coach through
the Step-Family Foundation. For more information visit
www.stoppingschoolviolence.com.
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