With every marriage license issued, there should also be given two sets of seat
belts - for one thing's certain, it's going to be a bumpy ride. No matter how
much in love we are or how hard we work at our relationships, there will be
those times when things go wrong - it's just a fact of life.
There are many ways in which to effectively deal with times of difficulty in our
lives and relationships, but one particularly helpful means of weathering the
storm, so to speak, is by focusing on the big picture.
So often we become completely consumed by a problem or issue that we begin to
lose perspective. When we allow this to happen, we run the risk of letting the
problem take over our lives. Think of it as a man jumping into the ocean, but
rather than looking up and making his way back to the surface, he becomes
disoriented. Everywhere he looks there's just more water. He begins to panic,
and the fear of drowning only heightens his anxiety, further complicating his
predicament. A sense of hopelessness consumes him as he thrashes about, and
soon, with his strength and breath now gone, he surrenders himself to the sea.
That's a pretty dramatic analogy, but helps to illustrate my point. We, like the
drowning man, can become so consumed with a problem that panic and hopelessness
sets in, making it difficult to see anything outside of the circumstance itself.
In these times, if we can take a step back and focus our minds on the big
picture, suddenly whatever difficulty we're faced with or obstacle we're
attempting to overcome, seems much less ominous.
Had the drowning man applied this principle, he may have been able to see past
his fear and find a simple solution to his predicament.
When we encounter problems in a marriage, the same holds true - looking past the
immediate difficulty and focusing on the big picture can make all the difference
in the world. In doing so, we remember what the marriage really means to us, all
the love and good that comes from it, and what we're ultimately working towards.
This not only gives us the proper perspective and clarity of mind to better deal
with whatever problem we face, but also provides us with the strength and
courage to weather the storm.
Focus on the big picture and see these problems for what they really are - not
hopeless situations which have no end, but just bumps in the long road of
marriage.
Passing Thoughts is a syndicated weekly column
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